#I love Sarah x Lone Wanderer

[tkwrites]

Our Heroes Meet - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Photos from Pinterest

Title: Our Heroes Meet

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Beginning: Quinn Hughes x Original female character 

Warnings: None? First dates, first meetings, so many firsts. 

Summary: When Quinn and Sarah meet, they’re pulled into each other's lives in a way neither one expected. 

Word count: 4,300

Comments: This is the beginning snapshot of Quinn & Sarah. 

I posted this earlier, and took it down less than 4 hours after. I felt that the ending, while cute, wasn’t true to character. After re-working it, here it is again. 

It’s so cute and earnest and I just love it so much. 

Thank you so much for all the support and love for these stories. I really can’t say it enough. 

Our Heroes Meet

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

On a rare free afternoon with the prospect of the following day off as well, Quinn found himself wandering Stanley Park. He hadn’t really set out with the park in mind, but after being home for a few hours, playing an hour or so of Call of Duty with Jack and Luke before their pre-game naps, he needed to get out of the house. Long stretches at home alone didn’t suit him anymore after COVID, when he'd been contractually stuck inside anytime he wasn’t at the rink. It reminded him too much of those long, lonely days.

The Park was touristy, but he liked it. He liked the water, and all the trails, and there was always something new and interesting going on. 

It began to drizzle as he wandered. Within minutes, as it so often did in Vancouver, the rain picked up, pounding into the pavement in sheets. 

Cursing himself for not checking the weather before leaving his apartment, Quinn darted under the awning of the aquarium to keep from getting soaked to the skin. His first thought was to turn away and run back to his car. He didn’t need to be with big crowds of people, especially when everyone was rushing to get inside. On the other hand, he'd never been to the aquarium, and the thought of returning to his empty apartment made him squirm more than the thought of a crowd. 

So, he bought a ticket and wandered into the building, keeping his distance from others, hat pulled low so less people would recognize him. 

He was wandering the BC exhibit when he stumbled upon a pretty young woman speaking to a group of school aged children, explaining to them how octopus camouflage worked. He'd missed most of her talk, but she had several graphics attached to the tank. A little girl in the front was holding a plastic model of an octopus like it was the best gift she'd ever been given. 

The woman's dark hair was pulled up into a bouncy, wavy ponytail. Something glinted in her ears, but she wore no other jewelry. She had a curvy figure, highlighted by the jeans and t-shirt she wore. She looked put together, but not overly so. 

The thing that really made him pause was the light in her eyes when she talked. She was obviously passionate about her work and it was infectious to watch. She answered every child with the same thoughtfulness and enthusiasm. From deeper questions about how the changing environment was affecting marine life, to the little girl holding the model, who asked why octopus have eight arms. 

“You know, we haven’t really figured out why eight is the magic number for them, but they use all of them, so I guess they got to eight and decided they were done.” 

Quinn found himself chuckling while the kids giggled. 

The classes wandered away,  and she began cleaning up her display, putting models and diagrams into a bucket before easing the graphics off the tank glass.

Something pulled him to her as if he'd been hooked in the navel and reeled in. Maybe it was because Millsy had just been chirping him about being too quiet to get a girl. Maybe it was the longing he felt wandering the park alone. Maybe it was fate. Whatever it was, he couldn’t seem to talk himself out of it. 

Standing there like a fool, he watched her work for a few heartbeats too long. 

Quinn didn't like to talk to strangers if he could help it. It’s not that he was scared, necessarily, but he was quiet and often just didn't know how to break the ice. Talking to someone when he didn’t have a middle man to bridge that first interaction made him nervous.

“Can I ask you a question?” he finally said. Lame. Lame. Could he be any more fucking lame? 

“Hi there,”  she said with a bright, friendly smile that took him off guard with its forced cheerfulness. It was such a different look than she’d just been wearing that he found it unnerving that she could flip that quickly. “Where can I direct you?” 

“Oh, no,” Quinn gestured at the place he’d been standing, “I missed part of your talk,” he said, feeling his cheeks begin to blaze. “I wondered if you could tell me more about their camouflage?”

The light that had been in her face came rushing back, as if someone had flipped a switch. She met his eyes and smiled. Something twisted in his stomach. 

He was even a few inches taller than her. More boxes checked off his list.

“Sure, what would you like to know?”

Mostly, he wanted her to keep talking. Finally, his brain came up with something semi intelligent, “do they have all those colors in their skin and just bring them up to the surface when they want to?” 

“Sort of. Their skin is full of chromatophores, which are basically specialized cells that have an elastic sac that’s filled with one of a few pigments, and as they expand and contract the muscles around those cells, more or less pigment is visible. Octopus, and other cephalopods have a nerve attached to every one of those cells, so they can change almost at will. Some scientists are trying to understand if they even need to think about changing, or if it’s just an autonomic nerve response.” She stopped abruptly, “I’m sorry, that’s probably more information than you were looking for. ”

“No, it’s really interesting,” he assured. “How do you know all this? Are you just in charge of the octopus tank?”

“I'm getting my masters degree at  UBC in marine zoology. I do research with one of the octopus we have named Walter, so they ask me to do these talks while I’m here working on that.”

He laughed, “Walter? That's quite the name for a fish.”

“Right?” she agreed, resisting the urge to correct him that Walter was a cephalopod, not a fish. They were two very different categories of animals. “I didn't choose it, but it suits him. He's kind of a curmudgeonly old man sometimes.” 

His phone buzzed, reminding him it was nearly time to eat lunch. 

“Hey, I swear I don't usually do this,” he said, more for his own benefit as he silenced the vibration on his phone, “but do you want to grab some lunch?” 

She glanced at her watch and he felt his face flame as the reality of what he’d just said sunk in. He'd asked her to lunch? While she was working? How out of touch was he? Not everyone worked in the morning for a few hours and basically had the rest of the day free. 

“I have a break coming up at 1, but I'm giving another talk at 2:30, so we couldn't go very far,” she said apologetically, hoping it wouldn’t put him off. 

Quinn felt like he'd won the lottery. He just wanted to keep talking to her. It didn't matter how far they went. For all he cared, they could go to the aquarium cafeteria. “That’s fine.”

A relieved smile spread over her lips. 

Pulling out his phone, he checked the time. “So, I’ll meet you out front in twenty?” he suggested, gesturing vaguely to where he thought the front of the building was.

She nodded. 

As Sarah headed backstage, Rick, one of the aquarium staff, saddled up beside her, waggling his eyebrows, “he was cute.”

She went to scoff and wave him away, but found that she couldn’t. Her mystery man was cute. Lovely brown eyes, a few inches in height on her (which if she was being honest, wasn’t all that difficult), dark hair along with a dark shadow of a beard on his jaw, and a prominent, interesting nose that was somehow distinctive and at home on his face all at once. On top of that, he came up to her, obviously interested in what she did, and that in itself was incredibly attractive. 

He hadn’t even paused when she threw out her graduate degree, a kind of douche litmus test she’d devised to tell right away who would be too intimidated by her education and who would be cool with it. 

“I know,” she said, a little surprised by her own sincerity.

“Did he get your number?” 

“No.”

“Please tell me you got his. It’s the twenty-first century, girl. You don’t let a man like that pass you by.” 

“He invited me to lunch,” she said, feeling that overwhelming sincerity wash over her again. It was a bold move on his part, making his intentions known right away. She wasn't sure she'd ever been asked out so quickly or decisively. 

“Well, I guess that works,” Rick shrugged, as if to say it wasn’t the route he would have taken.

Twenty five minutes later, Sarah rushed to the front, dodging the local hall so she wouldn’t be pulled away to answer a question, which happened more often than she’d ever anticipated after taking this research position.

He was standing near the entrance, looking at his phone with a kind of studied practice. Like he was trying hard to seem absorbed in whatever he was looking at, but the set of his shoulders made him look like he was bracing himself.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, halting her progress, “I got stuck talking with my research supervisor.” 

He smiled, finally lifting his head, “It’s cool. Glad you didn’t stand me up though.” 

A relieved smile took over her face. “I’m Sarah by the way, I didn't get your name.” 

“Quinn,” he said, extending his hand. 

He’d forgotten to introduce himself. He'd been so caught up in keeping her talking that he forgot the most basic part of polite conversation. Internally, he rolled his eyes. 

A small spark raced up her arm when their hands touched with the formal shake. 

“So,” he shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure of what else to do with them, “where do you wanna go?”

“Oh, I…” she paused, looking out to the park, “do you have a favorite place?” 

“I'm not down this way much, so I don't really know.”

“Do you like bao?” she asked. 

He just looked at her, so she continued, “they're like dumplings with different things inside. They're Asian. There's a great place just up the street I go to sometimes.”

“I've never had it, but sure?”

Leading the way, Sarah started out of the building in confident strides that spoke of someone who had little time to waste in getting from one point to another. The rain had let up to a light mist that would do little more than dew the grass. 

“So… are you from Vancouver?’ she asked, glancing over at him. He kept pace with her easily. 

“No, I'm kind of from all over, but mostly from Michigan.” 

“Oh, cool. I'm from Nevada.”

“That's a long way for school.”

“Well, it's a bit hard to study the ocean there,” she teased, “being landlocked and all.”

He laughed. “So, you're a student and you do research, what else do you do?”

“I honestly don't have a whole lot more time. Grad school is kind of a joke that way. I hang out with my roommates,” she added, feeling incredibly lame. “What about you? What do you do?”

He cleared his throat. This conversation always went one of two ways. “I play hockey.” 

“Like, for a job?” she asked, her eyebrows shooting up into her hairline. 

“Yeah. For the Canucks.” He gestured around himself, acknowledging the city as a whole. 

She looked at him, and he held his breath, hoping his gut reaction wasn’t about to be proven wrong. 

"That must be a wild job.”

A sigh let go in Quinn's chest. “It is. I feel really lucky.”

“So you're what, 20?”

“I hope I look older than that!”

"Sorry," She laughed. "I'm so bad with age. Especially with dudes. The facial hair always throws me off, so I usually aim low.” she said, gesturing to his jaw.

He grinned at her and her heart did a pitter pattery little jig against her ribcage. 

“In any case,” she said, flipping her hands, “aren't all the guys in the NHL really young? Like, you have to be drafted before you're 20 or something?”

“21, technically,” he said, looking very impressed. “Do you follow hockey?”

“Not really, but my roommate is obsessed with the Canucks, so I've picked up a few things." 

Quinn hoped she was the good kind of obsessed. 

“So how old are you then?”

“24. You?” 

“Twenty-six.” 

The guys were going to give him so much shit when they found out he took out another older woman. 

He couldn’t help it. He liked older women. They were more likely to have their lives together in the way he did. It was easier to be himself - a little more serious and quiet than his peers - with older women, who seemed to appreciate those qualities more. 

It seemed he was naturally drawn to someone older, even when his basic instincts took over.

After 10 minutes of walking, they were seated in a cozy little restaurant, and Sarah made sure he was facing the middle, where the chef was assembling the dumplings. 

Quinn looked over the menu, feeling instantly overwhelmed. There were so many things he didn't know here. “What's good?” he asked, trying to calm his nerves. 

Truly, what the hell was he doing? He felt so out of his element. He dated, but never like this. Usually via set up and occasionally from an app, but he always knew something about his date before they met in person. 

This was all his least favorite parts of getting to know someone in a situation that felt too high-stakes. He wasn’t even sure why. Sarah was pretty. Not in the overly stunning instagram pretty way Jack usually favored, but more girl next door kind of pretty, in a way that made him interested to know her more, but he didn't feel intimidated or uncomfortable around her. Something about her tilted him off his axis enough to make him go out of his comfort zone enough to ask her to lunch. For the first time, he found himself thinking, this could really go somewhere, and that scared him shitless.

“Everything I've tried is good. You should at least try the rainbow dumplings. Then you can try all the flavors.”

He nodded and set the menu down. 

“We could split an entree too?” She suggested, sensing his unease. “The dumplings aren't really a total meal.”

“Sure. You pick.”

“Anything you don't like? Any dietary things?” 

Quinn shook his head, “no, I’m off tomorrow, so I’m not watching what I eat.”

They locked eyes over her menu, “do you have to do that a lot?” 

He nodded, “it comes with the territory. Gotta stay in peak condition, you know?” 

She didn’t, but she nodded anyway. 

He took off his cap and nervously ran his hand through his hair before replacing it. His hair was thick and a little wavy, she saw. It made her like him even more. 

After holding eye contact for a beat too long, she tore her eyes away to look at the menu again. “Do you mind if I do something a little weird?” she asked. 

When she dared to meet his eyes again, he was looking at her like he was bracing for something that was going to ruin his whole reputation. 

“I mean with ordering,” she said, laughing. 

“Oh,” Quinn felt his whole body relax, “sure.” 

“Were you worried I was going to ask for pictures of your feet or something?” 

Laughter burst out of his mouth, splitting his face into a natural, easy smile that suited him. The childish scrunch to his nose coupled with the wide, sure-of-himself smile made him look somehow younger and older at the same time.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I’ve seen a lot of weird shit.” 

“I can’t even imagine,” she said, laughing. 

The waiter came up to the table then. 

Sarah glanced at Quinn, a smile still playing on her lips.

“You order,” he said, feeling childish. 

“We’ll have two orders of the rainbow dumplings, and whatever main dish you want to bring us.” 

Quinn choked a little on the water he was drinking. 

“Just no seafood.” 

The waiter nodded, like this wasn’t an unusual request, “spice level?” 

Sarah looked to Quinn for guidance. 

“Mild,” he said. 

“Mild, then.” 

“No allergies?” 

Sarah shook her head, and the waiter walked away. 

“Do you do that a lot?” he asked. 

“Sometimes. I have a friend who does it every time we go out. It’s a great way to try new things.” 

“And no seafood?” he asked, “has your work turned you away from it?” 

“No, not really, but I only get it if it’s sustainably sourced, and I didn’t want to have a whole conversation over who their seafood supplier is, and most waiters don't know that stuff anyway, so it’s just easier to say none.” 

Their conversation slipped into a silence that wasn't completely uncomfortable. 

“So,” she said, starting to fiddle with the things on the table, a soy sauce decanter and a square ceramic container with a tiny spoon in it. “Tell me more about yourself.” 

“Like what?”

“Like,” she paused, filtering through the questions that raced through her head, “what's your favorite movie?”

“Star Wars.”  

“Which one?”

“I like all of the original trio, but probably The Empire Strikes Back most.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Why?”

“Oh, I dated a guy a while ago who told me his favorite Star Wars movie was The Phantom Menace and I almost broke up with him on the spot.”

Quinn laughed. 

“What's your favorite?”

“Oh, I have so many,” she said, “For Star Wars: A New Hope. Overall, it kind of depends on the day, but I have some go-to comfort movies, like any of the original Marvel movies, Lord of the Rings, and this chick flick called In Her Shoes I used to watch a lot with my mom.”

Feeling more and more like he really had won the lottery, Quinn smiled at her. It was strange to think a girl like this existed and had been existing in the same city as him for some time. A woman that was cute and curvy and had so many of the qualities he always said he was looking for. Passionate about what she was doing, didn't take herself too seriously, was a bit of a nerd like he was, but not too nerdy, didn’t want to date him for clout or money.

People in his life had often wondered if the list was too long to find in a real person. He'd started to wonder the same thing over the past few months. Part of it was that it felt easier to have a long list so he didn’t have to worry about looking for someone while he was so busy. He'd always figured he'd meet someone later on in his career or even after it was done. Then he would have the time to dedicate to dating and marriage. 

Despite all that, here Sarah was, smiling at him over a lunch table like fate had just dropped her into his life. 

Their food came and they continued talking. Sarah could tell he was a quiet guy, always taking time to think before he spoke. Despite that, she didn't feel like she was carrying the conversation. It was a pleasant surprise for a first date. 

At one point, Quinn looked so lost at how to eat the dumplings that she took pity on him and gave him the instructional card from the table. “I was lost when I first came here, too,” she assured. 

When they finished, and Quinn had shut down her offer to pay for half of the food, she glanced at her watch, surprised to find that it was already 2:05. Their conversation had been so consistent and comfortable, she hadn’t realized how much time had passed. 

“Oh, shit,” she said. “I’m sorry. I have to get back.” 

“I’ll walk with you,” he said, standing and putting  a cash tip on the table. 

Sarah felt a little dizzy. Everything felt so sudden, like Karma had finally noticed all her pain and delivered her something good for a change. She’d gotten so used to slogging along, enjoying what she was doing, but not really looking forward to the future with any big hope or optimism. The sudden change had her reeling.

When they got back to the Aquarium, Quinn stopped at the entrance, tucking himself behind one of the pillars to provide a little more privacy. 

“I, uh,” he found himself saying. How did you end a date with a woman you were beginning to feel might just be your soulmate? 

“I had a really nice time,” she said. 

“Yeah, me too.”

He leaned in, trying to gauge if she wanted to be kissed, or if a hug would put him too much in the friend-zone. His brothers probably would have chastised him for not going in for the kiss right away, but the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. 

They did a short, awkward dance, neither knowing what, exactly, to do. It struck Sarah as the most uncomfortable thing on their date thus far. 

Finally, she took charge and wrapped her arms around his neck in an embrace. 

 Quinn sighed as he gathered her against him. 

His willingness to wait for her to dictate the level of physicality they shared ticked another box on her list. She wouldn’t have minded kissing him, but the fact that he respected that boundary right off the bat had game show-winner bells ringing in her mind. 

“I know you have to go, but can I get your number?” he asked, stepping back from the embrace, letting his left hand linger on her hip.

She giggled a little, thinking what a weird formality it was that he had to ask at this point. She gave him her number and he texted to make sure it was right. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out, showing him. 

“I’ll see you later?” she asked. looking up into his face. She wasn’t surprised to find the same hope she felt reflected back at her. 

He glanced at her lips before meeting her eyes again, “yeah.”

Another glance at her watch had her stepping back from him. “I’m sorry, I’m late,” she said, turning away before turning back at the last second and brushing her lips over his cheek. “See you later.” 

He watched her run down the hall before turning around and heading back home, feeling like he could stomach an evening alone with Sarah on his mind. 

Later that night, studying in her room, Sarah finally pulled her phone from her backpack and typed out the message that had been pulling at her thoughts all day, making it impossible to really focus on anything else.

Some of her friends, she knew, would tell her she was putting too much out there too soon. Perhaps she was, but losing her mom had given her a fuck that attitude to many things - not expressing her true feelings being one of them. If it scared him off, that would tell her all she needed to know. 

She hit send, hoping she wasn’t wrong. 

Quinn was in his own apartment, not really paying attention to the Devils-Hurricanes game playing, mostly trying to figure out when it would be okay to text her. With the way everything had gone that day, he felt like any time would be the right time. The anxious part of his mind battled against that thought, worried about coming on too strong or seeming needy and messing things up. 

He pulled his phone out, finally deciding that he should just say something. 

It dinged in his hand, and her name flashed across his screen. Shocked, he dropped the phone and had to fish it out from under the couch before he could read her message. 

Thank you for today. You were such a welcome surprise. 

It was so heartfelt, he sat on the floor between the couch and coffee table for a while, re-reading their conversation.  

This is Quinn. 

Thank you for today. You were such a welcome surprise. 

The embarrassingly earnest part of him wanted to tell her all he was feeling, but he knew it was too soon to tell her he thought they could go the distance. It was too soon for him to be voicing those things to himself. He didn’t really even know her. Yet.

Sarah watched his text bubble appear and disappear several times before she clicked off her screen, unable to watch.

Her heart was rioting in her chest. Yes, fuck that, but also if he proved her wrong, she knew she would be crying herself to sleep. 

Finally - finally her phone buzzed. Hands shaking, she struggled to unlock it, eventually having to put her code in twice before it worked. His message slid onto the screen, and she released the breath she’d been holding. 

I feel the same way. I can’t wait to see you again.

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[theladyofdeath]

Lady Death's Lover {10}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: NSFW (actually, just make the same note for the next few chapters)... Thank you for reading, reblogging, liking, and commenting. I love to see it all! x

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

<.>.<.> Nesta <.>.<.>

His kiss was like nothing I have ever experienced.

I lie alone in my bed, wishing he was here with me. I long for his mouth on mine, long for that mouth of his to explore every inch of the bare skin that is rolling beneath my sheets, lonely with need. 

He confessed his love for me. All of my being wanted to reciprocate the feeling, but I just couldn’t. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him. I know it was wrong but I have no regrets. If I am to be bound to Tomas for the rest of my life, I am glad that I felt what it was like to be completely in love, completely enveloped in a kiss if only for a second.

It is a second I will never forget, a second I will never take for granted. 

His lips were softer than I had imagined they would be. It was a pleasant surprise, the gentleness of this man that did not radiate gentleness whatsoever. He held me as if our lives depended on it, and for a moment, I swore they did. 

The house is quiet; there’s nothing but the cackling of the fire to distract me. Even the cackling cannot distract me enough from imagining his roaming hands. 

Unable to fall asleep, I let my mind wander. 

I imagine him in bed right next to me, his body bare and intertwined with mine. I imagine his lips dancing across my skin, imagine his hands wandering, exploring, desperate with need.

I imagine his cock, long and thick, thrusting into me again and again and again. I’ve seen its outline, although I have pretended I haven’t, but I know that it does not compare to the real thing, released and wielded. 

I can only imagine the pleasure he could endow with such a weapon. 

Pretending my fingers are that weapon, I plunge them inside of myself again and again. I go deep, quickly, imagining the hardness of his body sliding against every inch of my soft curves. Finding that sensitive bundle of nerves, I cry out, not caring that the help could possibly hear. 

I hate that we stopped after a measly kiss. A kiss that I started, a kiss that should have never been, a kiss that I cannot help but fixate on, obsess over. 

For the first time, I’ve felt wanted. I felt loved, cared for, cherished. I can only imagine what it would feel like if things had escalated, if the help was not right outside, wandering through my husband's house. If we were alone, I would have let him take me. I would have let him have all of me. 

Unsure of what that says about me, I continue to live out my fantasy. With every fictitious thrust that Cassian grants me, I come alive. Tears fill my eyes and even I pity myself for the pathetic nature of my situation, but I push that feeling aside and continue to find pleasure, dwelling in the sensation rising up inside of me. 

It’s his name I cry out when I find release. 

When my body stops shaking, when my chest stops heaving, I close my eyes and it is his smiling face that I see.

This is absurd.

I cry, shamelessly, surrounded by flickering candles that are slowly dwindling to their deaths. Sorrow and longing and an odd sense of jealousy flood my body. I am jealous of every woman who has married for love, who had the opportunity to avoid being in a marriage of convenience. After the jealousy comes the loathing.

I hate Tomas.

I hate him as a husband and as a man. I rue the day that I must give him an heir, a child that makes us a family, that shackles me to him further. I hate how he treats me, how he orders me around like I am one of the servants, how he takes out his anger and bitterness on every inch of my skin. I hate how he touches me in bed, how he makes me feel dirty after every time I am forced to carry out my marital duties. 

Cassian is twice the man that Tomas will ever be. I am jealous of the woman who will take his hand in marriage, who will become the mother of his children, who will run his household alongside him in love and dignity.

I am envious that it will not be me.

It cannot be.

I have already been spoken for, claimed by the devil himself. 

Opening my eyes, I stare at the ceiling as my sobs have grown to silent tears streaming down the sides of my face, absorbing into my feathery pillow. Candlelight dances along the ceiling, grounding me. 

I should be his.

And he should be mine.

The truth that is so painfully obvious occurs to me and I do not deny it any longer. I stopped denying it the moment that I kissed him. I love him. 

I am in love with him.

A gentleman, a man who is not my husband, a man who looks at me as if I am the only woman in all of existence.

Rising out of bed, I wipe my eyes and dress quickly in a pair of slacks and a shirt I keep for riding when Tomas is out of town. After donning my boots and cloak, I pin up my hair and sneak quietly into the hallway and out of the manor, toward the stables. 

I, Lady Nesta Mandray, deserve to be loved, too. 

________________________________

<.>.<.> Cassian <.>.<.>

The whiskey isn’t cutting it tonight. 

I’m on my second glass at the gentleman’s club, but I cannot feel a thing. Nothing that’s real, anyway. I can still feel every touch of her hands on my chest, of her lips on mine, and it is torturous. The image, the feeling, the utter sensation is branded in my memory. I’m convinced that nothing will ever compare to that fleeting moment. 

Fuck.

The things I would have done to her if we were anywhere else but in the home of her husband. Husband. She’s married. It’s a fact that I’ve always known but have never fully accepted, and now that’s coming back to bite me in the ass. 

I took it too far. She was the one that kissed me but I sure as hell didn’t deny her. I would never. I’m incapable. She could ask anything of me and I would do it with no hesitation. I’m in too deep and I simply don’t give a damn. 

It was a perfect moment. I have no regrets. The only regret that I have is that there simply was not enough time. There was not enough time for me to truly show her what she means to me. There was not enough time to lay her down, strip her bare, and worship every inch of her beautiful skin. I meant what I had said, what I had confessed. I am in love with this woman.

I drain what’s left in my glass. 

The empty glass haunts me as I slide it across the bartop and hop off my stool. I hear the echoes of goodbyes behind me but I ignore them all, unable to fully hear their farewells. My mind is occupied. 

I return home the same way I came: meandering beneath the famous starlight. The stars seem dimmer tonight as if they’re mourning alongside me. 

I’m selfish. There is no reason for me to mourn. You cannot mourn for something you never had. 

I have no idea how much time has passed when I make it to my townhouse. The lantern by the door is still burning as I open it up and slump inside only to be greeted by the silence of an empty house. At this hour, I have no doubt that my butler and the handful of maids that keep my house in a state of perfection are sleeping soundly in their beds. At least, I hope they are. They work hard enough as it is. 

After locking the door and tiptoeing across the foyer, I find a lamp to light and carry it up the stairs. 

The space has never felt so big. 

After walking past the sitting room and the study, I find my bedroom at the end of the corridor and kick off my boots as I walk inside.

The shadow of a figure sitting on my bed shifts, and I nearly drop the candle in my hand and wake up every servant in this household when I curse.

Loudly. 

“I’m sorry,” the figure breathes, and the tone of her voice instantly calms me.

I hold up the candle and see her watching me, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. “Nesta.” “I’m sorry,” she says, and it looks like she’s about to panic. “I…I don’t know what I’m doing here.” She jumps off my mattress and starts pacing. “I was just…I was in bed, thinking about you and before I knew what I was doing, I was here.”

In bed.

Thinking about me.

I don’t give a damn what else she says. That’s enough.

“I should go.”

I close my bedroom door. “How did you get in here?”

Nesta opens her mouth, then closes it, then she huffs a laugh. “I…am no saint. I learned how to scale a wall pretty young.”

The image of her scaling a wall makes me laugh. Then I realize that she’s wearing a shirt and trousers beneath her cloak, the fabric hugging her curves. I swallow as her words settle in. “No one knows you’re here?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“And you’re here because…?”

She shrugs, shamelessly. “I had to see you.”

I take a moment to reply, careful to be certain that I heard her correctly. “Earlier, you said—”

“I love you,” she says, and her words are so quiet that I have to halt my breathing to hear each word clearly. Her eyes shine in the dim light. “I had to let you know. I couldn’t live without you knowing. And I am sorry that I am here, being selfish, but I love you, Cassian. Even if this can never be.” 

The words rush out of her and I cannot stop myself from moving towards her. I set the candle down on my dresser as I pass it and before I can collect my thoughts, I’m standing in front of her, looking down into her eyes. The room falls into silence and I have to convince myself that she’s really here, in front of me. 

When it’s clear that she is, I kiss her.

Our bodies press up against one another as I grab her by the waist and draw her close to me. She doesn’t hesitate, her tongue brushing along mine.  

“You taste like whiskey,” she says, breath warm against my lips. “Are you drunk?”

“Do I seem drunk?” I tease, cradling her face in my hands.

“No,” she says, suppressing a smile. 

“I tried to be and failed,” I confess, brushing my thumbs along her smooth ivory skin. My own seem so dark in comparison. It’s a welcome contrast. 

“I am glad you are not,” she says, leaning into my touch.

She kisses me slowly, savoring every passing second. I am the one to pull back this time.

“This is inappropriate.”

“Wholly,” she agrees, sliding her hands up my chest. “To say the least.”

I swallow, stilling her hands. “There is no going back.”

As much as it pains me, I feel the need to warn her. If we continue, I will not be able to stop, and if we go through with this, things will never be the way they once were. Our words will be more than words. They will become something greater. 

Her eyes do not waver. “I do not want to go back. I want to know what it is like to make love to you. Even if it is only once.”

The thought of doing it once and never again is agonizing.

The thought of not having her at all is so much worse. 

When I kiss her this time, there is no going back.

I lift her up, gripping her backside as her legs quickly and comfortably wrap around my body. Our mouths are a battle of teeth and tongue, clashing together, unable to get close enough. Forgetting about every reason that we shouldn’t, every obstacle we are about to face, I carry Lady Nesta Mandray to my bed and lay her down. 

[littlemsstarlight8]

The Unlucky One

Hi! This is my first time publishing my writing so please bare with me, as Loki’s speech and mannerisms may not be perfect but I’ll try my best to improve in all areas! (I apologise if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes) :)

Pairings: Thor x female reader, Loki x female reader

Warnings: Mutual pining, Fluff, Angst, Odin winning the worst father award

Summary: It’s no secret that you and Loki have an undeniable attraction to one another but when forced into an unimaginable arrangement is love even in the cards for you?

As much as they may want to, both the men and women of Asgard knew their attempts to woo the God of Mischief would be futile; even then the brave would try and show their affection to the God only to be harshly turned down, dismissed or ignored completely.

Because it was clear the God had his sight set on the one person who has clouded his mind since their arrival.

As soon as his eyes landed upon you, he knew instantly that he was yours. There you stood beside his boisterous brother as he introduced you to their father, curtsying before him out of respect. Loki suppressed himself of smiling at the woman who gave love a new meaning as it dawned on him completely cliché the situation was. But he didn’t care.

You were stunning. With much dismay, he tore his eyes away from you not wanting to be caught in such an uncharacteristic state of himself. Not even a moment had passed though before Loki was informed of your name and occupation thanks to the man who called himself his father.

“Welcome to Asgard, Y/N L/N of Midgard.”

Norns your beauty came from a realm as pitiful as Midgard? His eyebrows raised in surprise of that statement but they were quickly lowered as he caught sight of you out of his peripheral vision and the spell you’d cast over him hit. Loki had no idea what had come over him but he knew that all he wanted, was to be yours.

And even though his feelings only multiplying with each glance Loki hadn’t made any attempts to showcase how deep his love ran for you. Because, and despite his unwillingness to admit it, the God of Mischief was afraid of being rejected. At fist he didn’t understand, Loki was fearless or so he thought, fearing no creature nor man but the thought of being unwanted by you made him want to jump of the biofrost bridge, knowing it will bring him the least amount of suffering.

But unaware to him, the feelings you harboured for Loki mirrored the devotion he felt towards you. Your love for one another however was blinding you both, unlike any onlookers who could see how painstakingly obvious you yearned for one another.

_

You have been occupying Asgard for 6 months now, finding sanctuary within the realm and its people. And because of that, you had no intent on leaving anytime soon. You aimlessly wander through the palace halls, never growing tired of the Asgardian architecture, greeting the inhabitants of the palace you happen to fall upon. You had become well acquainted with fellow Asgardians, especially the ones with in the palace, however there were a select few who made this place feel like a new found home.

One Asgardian in particular.

You had been informed of the brothers departure in Asgard, tasked with a mission, the details which were undisclosed to you meaning that you had been feeling rather lonely recently due to having no way into contacting your other friends. A sigh escapes you lips as you find yourself at the balcony looking out towards the realms you have grown so fond of.

But only a few seconds later were your thoughts interrupted as you notice two familiar figures walking towards the castle and a smile overtook your features almost immediately. They had finally returned! Turning on the balls of your feet you make your way towards the staircase to the lower level only to already be met with the Gods you’d grown fond of.

“You’re back!” Shrieking in pure delight you throw your arms around both men, but your arms were quickly at your side before a certain God could even register your warm embrace.

“Lady Y/N! How splendid to see you!” Thor chuckled as you smile at him, nudging his brother out of his love struck state, unbeknownst to you.

“Darling, a pleasure as always to be back within your company.” He smiles before taking your hand and placing a light kiss on your knuckles, his lips lingering before pulling away with a soft smile and you swore you felt butterflies combust in your stomach as you smile back in your flustered state, praying that your cheeks hadn’t coloured.

Your focus switches to Thor, who was looking between you and his brother a dopy smile hanging on his lips, the whole exchange bemusing him greatly, much to Loki’s dismay.

“Lady Y/N, please excuse me for a moment while I inform father of our success. Perhaps allow Loki to keep you company!” The brash blonde announced smacking his brother’s shoulder, resulting in Loki stumbling forward with a glare aimed towards him as Thor’s smile widened before walking towards the throne room.

“Are you okay?” Concern lacing your voice as you looked at him worried for any injuries that may have occurred from the force behind Thor’s form of affection towards his brother.

Loki’s eyes meet yours before being greeted by the smile that dammed you from ever falling for anyone else.

“I’m perfectly alright, thank you darling.”

Awkwardness lingered in the air momentarily before you gasp in excitement as the realisation hits you of why who wished upon his return sooner and caught up to in the moment you grab is hand, leading him towards your chamber.

“I finally finished it! Well actually I finished it a couple of weeks ago but I loved it! The way it was writ- Loki are you listening?”

You stop your rambling to see Loki’s focus entirely on your intertwined hands and notice his lightly coloured cheeks. Was he embarrassed?

“I’m sorry! I didn’t intend to upset you-

But you were cut off by the way Loki’s head snapped up, making you were afraid that it was broken, but that thought was put at ease as he shook his head, his grip tightening on the hand you were trying to detangle from his own.

“No no no, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest darling! Please continue, you were saying…”

You ponder, trying to regain your train of thought while you both continue walking towards the destination.

“The play ‘Romeo and Juliet’ I borrowed from the library! It’s tragically beautiful! And the language! So brilliantly written!” You gush, walking over to your bedside table and grabbing the work you praised so highly about, holding it out towards Loki.

“Here! You should read it if you haven’t already, you may like it!” You recommend as he takes the copy from your hands, fingertips brushing ever so lightly as he smiled fondly at the play that now resides in his hands.

“I’ll see that I read it immediately. Thank you, dear Y/N.”

You both mirror the same soft smile at one another and you see Loki open his mouth as if to speak before being promptly interrupted by a loud knock on the door, only to be be met with a palace guard requesting for Loki’s assistance with details upon his most recent mission before leaving as quickly as they appeared.

You hear Loki let out a sigh of annoyance at the request, turning towards you with a small smile placed upon his lips.

“My apologies but it seems I have to depart earlier than I would please.” Once more, placing a kiss upon your hand.

“Until next time, princess.”

Now did the nicknames he gave you only make you fall further for the God dressed in green, the butterflies once again materialising in the pit of your stomach as you watch him leave your room, your recommendation protectively grasped in his hand.

Weeks passed since the return of the two brothers and your time spent with them increasing, with one brother specifically. You treasured the time you shared with the God of Mischief and your feelings towards him only intensified with every conversation and each nickname which he probably thought nothing of.

You were just finishing the latest chapter of your book, as a distinctive thumping on the door intruded on your private hour however, you happily welcomed them in, being met with the guard usually stationed on the floor where your room is situated.

“Lady Y/N, I have been informed that your presence is being called upon King Odin of Asgard himself.”

You smile, thanking the guard despite the confusion that filled your mind of why the King insisted upon you as his audience. Nevertheless you made you way towards the throne room, calling out to Thor as you find him just outside your destination.

“Ah Lady Y/N, how wonderful to see you! I half suspected to see my brother trailing behind you like a lost puppy!” He snickers his smile as wide as ever and contagious resulting in you reciprocating one in return with a laugh, not knowing entirely of what Thor meant by his statement, as you both enter the throne room.

“Father!” Thor exclaims upon arrival, kneeling before him while you take yourself to stand towards the side of the platform.

“My son, Lady Y/N thank you for accompanying me at such an hour but I have reached the understanding of the issues that have once brewed between two certain realms, and after much consideration between myself and the royal advisors we have finally reached a consensus.”

“How marvellous father! A glorious day for which should be celebrated!” Thor cheers, applauding the outcome of the situation you were still unsure of why you were being informed of such news.

“But if I may be so inclined to ask, what realms are we helping reconcile father?”

“Asgard and Midgard my boy. After all the suffering Midgard has endured, especially with the havoc caused by your brother, it is in both realms best interests to come together peacefully.” The King explains monotonously, as his eyes drift towards you briefly before settling back on his son.

“Thor, you are to court Lady Y/N and ask for her hand in marriage.”

And you feel as if the world had stopped spinning and your ears begin to ring. You didn’t want to marry Thor, hell you didn’t know if you were even ready for marriage yet but here you are plans apparently already discussed only for the benefit of the realms, not the people involved.

“No.”

“My boy, this is indisputable, you must follow through with this decision!” Odin states his voice rising and his frown deepening as Thor defies his command. Your mind races through scenarios of the situation, feeling your visage of a smile start to falter at the thoughts of this becoming your reality.

“We can’t!” Thor retaliates, his gaze hard upon his father. “Loki doesn’t deserve that! He is-

“He doesn’t matter!” Odin booms, his voice echoing through the empty room.

“He matters to me!”

There and then your mind drifts to the God of mischief you had fallen for as you interrupted, your heart shattering at the lack of care his father held for him and you find yourself next to his brother as you stand before the King.

“He is my brother! You’re a fool father if you think I’m going to do that to him.”

The expression on King Odin’s face is unreadable, perhaps due to the lack of emotion he has towards this arrangement or the feelings towards his own sons. But for a brief second you could have swore you saw a hint of remorse behind his eye, however you found that highly unlikely.

“You don’t have a choice son.”

As you blink, the tears you were refraining escape, lowering your head to avoid being witnessed at your low. Helplessly, you swipe at the tears with the pad of your thumb before turning to look at the brother involved, powerless against his father’s command. His head was lowered like yours, his breathing heavy as his face contorted from bitter anger to helplessness.

“This alliance is necessary to allow peace between the two realms, and it will happen. Do you understand?”

You want nothing more than to interject, to scream at Odin for even considering this as even an option, but it was as if your vocal cords had been ripped out from your throat. You look at the God of Thunder beside you seeing his breathing pattern becoming more frantic than before, concerning you immensely.

“Thor?”

You’re met with silence, a very rare response from the usually boisterous God and yet he seemed kept up in his own head. You were about to press further, only for Odin to continue his judgment.

“Thor you shall propose to Lady Y/N at the banquet tonight, to which she shall happily accept.” Your world crumbling around you with each demand the King laid upon you both, unshed tears forming in the corner of your eyes. Thor pushed himself of his knee, glaring at his father who had no interest for what his son wanted, his chaw clenched turning towards you with a tight lip smile.

“Lady Y/N, if you would be so kind to excuse myself and my father, I would like to speak with him alone.”

You comply with a single nod, not bothering to curtsy before your departure, knowing Odin didn’t deserve your respect. Hastily, you make your way to your chamber, just managing to close the door before slapping a hand across your mouth to choke back a sob, your shoulders shaking in the process. All you could do is pray that Thor would succeed in convincing his father out of such a distressing decision.

_

Much to your dismay, you were instructed to dress in a far more formal attire this evening at the banquet you’re currently attending, increasing the feeling of dread that resided in your stomach: it was as if your dress were confirming the failure of converting the King’s judgment.

You certainly had no appetite, the rim of your chalice being the only thing you had raised to your lips the entire night so far. You kept your head lowered eyes focused on your uneaten meal, avoiding having to converse with anyone, well until the unmistakable voice of a God compels you to look up.

“Good evening darling.”

Again, the ache in your heart consumes you as Loki gently takes your hand in your own bringing it to his lips, the gesture only making what you fear to come more agonising.

You greet him with just a small smile, quickly taking your hand back and letting it drop to your side realising it must’ve have seemed very uncharacteristic as Loki’s eyebrows furrow, a frown etching its way onto his features. But before you can rectify any suspicions around your behaviour you are quickly interrupted by ringing throughout the hall, silence soon following.

“Everybody,” Odin declared once the chiming seized, “My son has an announcement.”

The rooms focus all shifts to the God of Thunder as he rose from his chair, striding to the middle of the banquet floor, beckoning for you with a smile.

And it takes everything in you not to start crying there and then as you do as you’re asked, standing before Thor.

“Lady Y/N,” he mimics the gesture Loki frequently greets you, his lips feather light on the back of your hand.

And then it happens.

He kneels to the ground, pulling out a small red box, gasps and whispers breaking out all around the proposal.

“Marry me,” he speaks slowly, his eyes not leaving yours, flashing a bright smile. “And you’ll never have to be alone.”

“I love you.”

Even knowing that you would be forced into your current situation, you hadn’t prepared yourself for those three little words, only offering a tight lipped smile but even you could tell how strained it must look and the look behind Thor’s eyes confirmed your thoughts. He waited, as if he was expecting you to say something, but you don’t so you watch as inhales deeply before opening the small box nestled in his hands.

“Will you marry me Lady Y/N?”

To the witnesses of this declaration of love, Thor is smiling as if you were his soulmate but you saw how much force was behind it, desperately trying to convince the onlookers and possibly himself.

Despite knowing you shouldn’t, you turn to look at the only God you ever dreamed at one day courting and there he was standing, staring at the scene before him with wide eyes and lips slightly parted, as if he was to say something. You wished for him to intervene, for him to stride over, scoop you up and save you from this nightmare. But that’s all it was, a wish. And no matter how much you may want them to, some wishes just don’t come true.

So you whisper the three letter word that condemns you to a loveless commitment.

“Yes.”

_

A/N My first fanfic published and I’m sorry it’s so long! This concept has been in my head for a while now and I’m happy to finally share it! I plan on writing the majority of the next part through Loki’s POV hence the reason why it was hardly touched upon. Although I had no idea how to write Thor’s proposal I hope you enjoyed this story so far!

[awkward-lesbian-writer]

Sarah Lyons x Female Lone Wanderer Christmas Fanfic

(This is probably not as good I as I hope but I started this at 3:30am and I’m tired lol, I am currently writing this part at 4:45am but anyways...on to the fanfic!)

It was December 25th 2277 and it was Lissandra's first Christmas outside of Vault 101. She wasn't sure if she should be glad she managed to live this long or sad. She had lost her father over the course of months but managed to find Madison Li, the woman her mother wanted to be her Godmother. She defeated the Enclave and with the Lyon's Pride Brotherhood of Steel and currently resided at The Citadel. The Citadel, regardless of the fact that everyone was soldiers, was actually a lot more lively than the Vault.

Sure the Overseer would organize a Vault wide party in their atrium but here, everyone was laughing and even drinking some pretty rancid stuff regardless if it was a holiday or not. Apparently one of the Scribes had made moonshine, she only knew of moonshine from the pre-war history books that had been in the Vault. A week prior they had each been given a name, they had to find a present for that person as some sort of game. She was pretty sure it was called Secret Santa, the adults played it in the Vault. She had drawn Sarah Lyons...okay that was a bit hard. If she had to described in four words, Lissandra would say: Woman shaped battering ram. The Power Armor the woman wore made her look smaller than she actually was.

It wasn't until the day after Fawkes, her rather intelligent Super Mutant friend/companion, turned on the purifier instead of Lissandra or Sarah sacrificing themselves, that she saw Sarah out of her armor. The Citadel had showers for women and men, in separate rooms of course, and Lissandra had gone there shortly after arriving and saw the older woman in nothing but a tank top and her Brotherhood issued pants. She wasn't even sure if woman shaped battering ram was fitting for her, she would love to see her try and arm wrestle Fawkes.

She managed to find to put together a pretty powerful laser rifle as an actual clean look canvas with intact and still slightly liquid paint, nothing a bit of water wouldn't fix. She first sketched out the Lyon's Pride symbol before painting it with Sarah's face on one side and her father's on the other side. She knew how important they were to one another, maybe not as close as Lissandra had been to James but they loved one another.

The 19 year old tipped the fine tipped brush into white paint before signing on the black background 'Lissandra' in the bottom right corner. Granted, they were suppose to do one present but it was after all her first Christmas outside the vault. She missed her friends, she missed Amata, she missed the safety of the Vault but at the same time didn't. She reached over and plucked a Fancy Lad Snake Cake from it's box and pealed the wrapping off it before popping the small cake into her mouth.

There was a knock on the door and before she could say anything, the door opened and she instantly turned the easel, she had also found with the canvas, around so it's back faced Owyn Lyons, Sarah's father. He chuckled and rubbed at his beard. "You get me?" She shook her head. "Sarah?" She remained quiet. "I won't tell her kid."

Lissandra swallowed the cake and nodded before turning it for him to see. "I already made her a new rifle but...I wanted to do more."

He looked impressed, speechless even. The girl mainly kept to herself, except for asking for a few missions here and there to earn some caps, they knew nothing other than she came from Vault 101, was James' daughter and was Madison's Goddaughter...not that Madison seemed to pay much attention to her. She took the silence to grab another snack cake, this time biting it in half. "You paint?"

"I did my fair share in the vault." Lissandra answered truthfully. "It's been maybe two years since I last picked up a paint brush." Speaking of which, she picked up the fine tipped brush and put it into the cup of water, swirling it around to clean the brush of the paint.

"Well I think she'll love it."

"I hope so." she laughed making him smile. "What can I do for you Elder?"

He looked confused before realizing he came here for a reason. "Oh." He looked at the pocket watch he carried. "It's seven forty-five. The party starts in fifteen. Trying to give everyone a heads up. Be in the common room at eight." She nodded and he left her room.

"Right." was all she could say as she looked at the painting.

Pulling her Vault suit up from where it hung at her waist and slid her arms in, pulling the zipper up to the middle of her chest and grabbed the wrapped rifle, it was in a box...there was no way in held she'd try to wrap it with out a box. Her father taught her to always find a box big enough if she believed she couldn't wrap the actual present. Looking at the canvas, she debated whether or not to quickly go find something to put it in but shook her head. No time. She tested several spots with her fingers to make sure it was dry and it was, her name drying quickly too.

The common room was about three minutes from her room, it got so loud in there sometimes that it used to keep her up but she was used to it now. She walked in and saw several BoS Soldiers sitting around, enjoying that fucking moonshine. She threw up the first time she drank it and had never heard Sarah laugh so hard before while trying to comfort the puking teen. She instantly went to her normal corner and sat down on a couch when Sarah walked in in nothing but a tank top and her standard issue BoS pants, she'd suggest it was a cold but the Capital Wasteland rarely got cold anymore since the Great War.

She was carrying a box and was laughing when one of the soldiers attempted to pass her a beer bottle re-purposed as a moonshine bottle. She waved her hand and said something along the lines of later. She looked at Lissandra and that smile turned bigger. She moved through the growing crowd of soldiers and stood on the other side of the table that Lissandra sat in front of. "You look pretty." she stated making the 19 year old knit her brows together. She looked pretty? She looked like she did every day just minus the smell of the wasteland.

"...uh...thanks?" she asked.

The Sentinel looked around and noticed people were already giving their presents. "Here." she put the box on the table making Lissandra realize they had gotten each other.

The young woman blinked several times before snapping out of whatever stupor she was in and put her box on the table before pushing it to Sarah. "I got you." she stated making the blonde snort with laughter. "Do you want that first or..." she raised the canvas up a bit that was backwards so Sarah couldn't see it yet.

"Oh!" she reached out for it making Lissandra hesitantly pass it to the older woman.

Once it was in the Sentinel's hands there was no going back. It was turned over and she saw those blue eyes taking in every inch of it. Her own hazel eyes looking nervous as she tried to figure out what expression she was reading. "Sentinel?"

Sarah opened her mouth but automatically shut it. It was a good solid and agonizing three minutes before those blue eyes looked up and locked with Lissandra's hazel eyes. "This is beautiful." she spoke making the Lone Wanderer's heart almost leap out her chest. "You did this?" The young woman nodded. She moved around the table and actually hugged the woman making her tense up and squeak as she felt those powerful arms wrap around her.

"Might wanna open your other gift before you put me in this bear hug." she managed.

"Alright but after, you're opening yours."

"Yes ma'am." chuckled the teen.

The wrapping paper wasn't proper wrapping paper. She took pages from old and destroyed books, she actually liked how it turned out.  She watched as Sarah seemed to carefully take the wrapping off, maybe she wanted to read the pages? The top of the box was lifted off and inside was the laser rifle that took Lissandra two sleepless nights to get working. On both sides was the Lyon's Pride symbol painted on it. She picked it up and took some of the energy cells she put in the box into the gun before watching it light up as it activated.

She aimed and fired, the laser cutting a moonshine bottle directly in half and striking the wall, leaving a scorch mark in it's wake. Everyone jumped at the sound of the bottle breaking, mainly from the top of the bottle hitting the ground and shattering rather than the laser cutting it in half. "I tested it on super mutants, it's very efficient." she stated as Sarah ejected the energy cell.

"You're amazing, you know that." she spoke tilting her head to the side making a blush appear on the young woman's cheeks. "You found this?"

"M-Made it. I made it."

"Alright, amazing is an understatement." she sat her gun down gently and smacked the younger of the two hard on the back. "Your turn."

Right, it was wasn't it? She noticed the wrapping on her present was posters, possibly pre-war posters at that. She undid them gently and lifted the top off to see a leather jacket that made her think of Tunnel Snakes, fucking Tunnel Snakes, but her eyes locked on the yellow 101 stitched into the back making her pull it out and smile. The jacket Butch gave her when she left had been warm and this felt about the right weight. She shifted and slid it on before smiling as she tugged the sleeves up a bit to her elbows, the sleeves of her Vault suit sticking out.

The blonde tugged on it a bit before smiling. "Guess that kid at Rivet City was right about your size."

Wait what? "Kid? What kid?"

"Butch I think. He said he knew you when he heard me mention your name. Admitted to bullying you when you were younger, almost broke his nose but he managed to say you two were friends now."

Where they friends now? She'd have to go to Rivet City and see what he was doing there? Sure she sided with Amata to keep Vault 101 open but she didn't expect anyone to leave or at least leave and go that far. Rivet City took Lissandra about a fully day to reach due to all the Super Mutants, Raiders, and creatures that wanted to kill her. She looked back in the box and saw a framed photos that made her heart nearly stop. One was of herself with her father, having been taken by Jones a few months before James left the Vault, the second was a photo of her father with her mother, and the third was her mother's favorite biblical saying. The last time she saw these three photos, they had been in her father's room and office back in the Vault.

She picked up the photo of herself and her father, her thumb rubbing across the glass. "How?"

"I went to your Vault after getting the jacket by Butch made. He said the current Overseer would know what else to give you. Some of the inhabitants were not friendly but that Amata, sweet girl." Lissandra knew she was a sweet girl and when she was younger, she had a crush on her best friend up until she was 18 but had she been sweet the day she told Lissandra she could never be apart of the Vault again? That hurt more than anything. She helped Amata take control of the Vault from her father and was told that there was no longer a place for her to stay in the Vault.

Fawkes being the gentle soul he was, carried a distraught Lissandra back to the Citadel. Her mind wasn't in a right place to fight anything or anyone along the way. She stayed locked up in her room for several days, managing to eat what Sarah or some scribes dropped off for her. "Yeah." was all she could manage as Sarah stared at her. She moved and hugged her this time, arms slipping around her waist to return it.

"Mistletoe!" shouted someone making the two look to see a Scribe standing beside them and looked up, what looked like a paper mistletoe was being held above them. She had seen plastic ones in the Vault, maybe she could run to the Vault and ask Amata for one for next year if she remained with the Brotherhood.

The two looked at each other, Lissandra blushing as Sarah smirked. "I...no..." was all Lissandra managed to get out. She and Amata had "kissed" when they were eight, a quick peck on the lips as Butch teased them with a mistletoe...that sure shut him up. "I mean not that I wouldn't...I...I don't know what I mean but..."

She never finished her sentence before lips pressed against her own. They were slightly chapped but soft at the same time against her. She barely managed to catch the whistling of several Soldiers whistling at the sight of their Sentinel kissing their newest recruit. Sarah pulled away with a small wet noise before eyeing the young girl again, she put her left hand on the girl's cheek before leaning in and kissing her again. This kiss probably should've happened somewhere private cause next thing the 19 year old knew was there was a tongue pushing it's way into her mouth.

This was something she had never done before, properly kissing like this instead of a quick peck. The blonde's arm tightened around her waist, pulling their bodies together. Breasts against breasts and hips against hips, even though Sarah stood maybe an inch taller than Lissandra. Someone clapped beside the two making them pull apart and Sarah turned a pretty red as she saw her father standing there.

"You want to make out with our newest recruit, than take her to your bedroom." he chuckled making Sarah nod.

Lissandra lowered her head, her hair moving to shield her face as BoS men and women shouted words of encouragement but a few men said something inappropriately that made Sarah hugged her waist tightly, possessive almost. Her father shouted something to make them shut up as the blonde lifted the younger woman's head and pressed their foreheads together.

She saw the Lone Wanderer's expression and smiled. "Ignore them." she whispered. "Ignore them and focus on me." Sarah saw Lissandra run her tongue along her bottom lip, wetting it most likely.  "You're the best gift I could've been given this year." There was a look of surprise on the other woman's face. "I mean, if we're...I assumed..."

Lips pressed against Sarah's quickly. "No you didn't assume." she chuckled. "I've liked you since we met on my way to Galaxy Radio. Regardless to the fact you were a bit of a hard ass but I...I felt something. So you're also the best gift I could've been given this year. After this shitty fucking year I had, you're my silver lining. So does that mean we're...?"

"You're my girlfriend. On December twenty-fifth, we became girlfriends. Remember that." she stated cupping Lissandra's face.

A smile formed on her face. Would her father approve? Sarah's father seemed to. Hell would Madison approve? That was all that mattered to her now. Aside from Sarah, Madison was the only other person she cared about. "Thank you." she whispered as tears slid down her cheeks.

Those power arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a comforting hug and she buried her face into Sarah's neck. She had lost her father and lost her home but she gained a girlfriend. "Let me know when you're okay, everyone will tease you for days if they see you crying." chuckled the blonde making a laugh erupt from the younger woman. She nodded and tightened her hold on Sarah.

They stayed like that for several moments, soldiers passing their gifts and alcohol back and forth. Sarah rested her chin on top of Lissandra's head and smiled towards her father who flashed a smile of his own and a thumbs up. He approved and to be honest, Sarah couldn't have chosen a better partner. "I love you." was all the young woman said.

"I love you too." whispered the Sentinel.

When asked Lissandra would admit that even though she had been exiled from her home and lost her father, this Christmas wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Sarah made everything better from day one. She'd openly state that she would never wish to return to Vault 101, she was happy with Sarah. She was happy being her girlfriend and eventual fiancee. Even though she was parent-less, she wouldn't trade this life for anything because she was loved and cared for by the most important person in her life, Sentinel Sarah Lyons.

(Note: SARAH LIVES IN MY FALLOUT 4 FANFIC CAUSE REASONS! Mainly I hate Maxson and I like the headcanon that Maxson over threw her to take control over the Prydwen but instead of Sarah dying, she was left for dead and Lissandra vows to take revenge on Maxson but that'll happen in my main Fallout 4 fanfic...whenever I post it lol)

[pappydaddy]

style (j.m.)

a/n: so, i had this idea when i was wandering around my room in my new cute bra that i am in love with this morning and i wrote this in like two hours... i was thinking about it all day so i had to write it in my big-ass gap between classes (school work who? we don't know her, only fics).

anywho, this will be part of the 1989 collection whenever blonde releases the re-record (that's when i will publish the masterlist to the collection), but i couldn't not do this to this song - it would have been illegal and i am a criminology major after all...

i hope you like this one lovelies and for the people waiting on requests, i am working on them! trust me, they should be coming out shortly lovelies💛!

tv show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

synopsis: good-girl kook y/n and bad boy pogue jj, something that y/n doesn't want to go out of style. no matter what brought them together.

taglist: @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @luvhanns | @thelakespoets | @lonely-simplicityty | @smarie7543 *line through your user means i could not tag you lovely!

warnings: fwb kinda gig, secret relationship (a little), infidelity (kinda), steamy make-out, mention of being half naked

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

Perhaps what they say is true, the good girls always go for bad boys. Or, perhaps the thrill of a secret romance with the boy who seems to bring trouble everywhere he goes is far too strong for anybody to resist. Whatever it is, Y/N loved it. She loved the thrill, the high, the rush she gets. Maybe that’s why she and JJ work so well together. The classic dynamic - the constantly in style romance. 

  Y/N questioned this all, just like normal, as she paced around her room after a long day. After getting up at five in the morning and doing nothing but tending to her studies, she was finally winding down for the night. Clad in her floral embroidered soft cupped (sheer) bra, her phone still in hand, her mind was ablaze. She knew they didn’t arrange to meet up tonight, but she kind of wished JJ would pull up in John B’s van with the headlights off to sneak her out of her parents' fortress of money and greed.

  Alas, here she stood, half-dressed in her favourite (and JJ’s favourite) short a-line skirt and low-cut top combination, her lips painted her classic red (a sight she loves to see smeared on JJ’s lips). She had dropped countless hints to him that her parent’s business trip had been extended for another week, but yet, he’s out with Sandra Hanson - the bitch from Gym class. “Tomorrow she is so getting a soccer ball to her new nose.” She grumbled. 

  It had taken a lot of persuading and Y/N intercepting her papers from getting to Kook Academy to convince her parents to keep her in public school. The argument being that she could use the fact she chose to continue with public education as an entrance essay topic and the fact she is taking all AP courses (except gym) as a leg up. Ironically enough, the only other Kook at public school was Sandra who had gotten kicked out of the academy for disorderly conduct.

  Groaning, she flopped down onto her bed, phone tumbling out of her hands from where the picture message Kie had sent her of Sandra and JJ looking close still sat on her screen. A ping made her look at it again, this time Sarah in their group chat, the same one Kie sent the picture in. ‘that bitch’ Sarah had typed. 

  ‘I know but they seem to be doing some sort of school work’ Kie typed back instantly. She had been picking the keys for the car up from her mother at the Wreck and spotted the two. JJ’s back was to her, failing to realise one of his friends and Y/N’s best friend was there. 

  ‘jj? doing school work? unlikely’ Sarah replied, the pings dinging in Y/N’s ears as she laid there. Groaning, she covered her face with a pillow, the bed bouncing from the movement. ‘idk tho why would jj suddenly take interest in Sandra when hes obvo obsessed with y/n something’s up’ Sarah double texted. 

  ‘they are leaving. in separate cars’ Kie updated. As much fun and no matter how much Y/N finds her head spinning in delight whenever JJ is involved, she couldn’t help but remember times like this. When she can’t get a read on him. It has been weeks since they officially talked or hung out. It had been sneaky note slipping when eating lunch with the group, partnering up in gym, and late-night texts sent hours apart. Nobody knew about them. They knew they were smitten with each other and liked each other, but nobody knew about them and it was driving Y/N crazy. 

  They went in these circles all the time. Hot, heavy, and constant for a month then barely anything for weeks until JJ comes to her, telling her that her little outfits at school were driving him crazy or telling her he missed her. She hated this part of it. It was enough for a little voice in her head to tell her to not let him into the house next time, but she always did anyway. 

  Huffing, she stood up from her bed. There was no point in staying up later than it already is just to wait around in an empty house for a boy who wasn’t gonna show up. Plugging her phone in, she shuffled around the room, deciding a nice unplugged bath was needed. “Whew, didn’t know I would be greeted like this.” JJ’s muffled voice startled her. Looking to her partially open window, she saw him crouched on her roof, a boyish smile on his lips. That same boyish smile that got her to do anything he wanted. 

  His eyes landed on her bra-clad breasts and stayed there while she walked over, unlocking and opening the window the rest of the way. Without hesitating, JJ crawled in, making her step back. And then, it was just like he was home and Y/N had that voice in her head again. Sighing out in comfort and relaxation, JJ shrugged out of his leather jacket, tossing it to her desk chair without taking his eyes off her. “I hardly think it’s fair that you’re standing here half naked and I’m fully clothed.” He mentioned, hands gripping the bottom of his white t-shirt. 

  “I hardly think it’s fair that I was here thinking you would be coming to see me when you were tramping around town with Sandra Hanson tonight and Audrey Glassman last night.” She remarked, crossing her arms over her chest. Covering her sheer bra, but consequently pushing her boobs together. 

  JJ deflated, hands leaving his shirt before coming up to run through his hair that was actually slicked back like it usually is when he plans to see someone. There was a pang in her heart when she realised that it was meant for Sandra tonight. “Look, yes, I hung out with them, but Y/N, I couldn’t get you off my mind for the past few weeks. It’s been driving me mad. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was with them.” 

  Y/N rolled her eyes. She knew she should tell him to leave. She knew she should, but she didn’t. With a sigh, she let her hands swing to her side, eyes flicking up to meet his. She swore that for a second, she was feeling what her grandmother felt whenever she gushed about the time she met James Dean. The same handsome sparkle she sees in the old picture of the two (she was pretty sure they dated but, her grandmother won’t confess). “Yeah, I’ve been there too a few times.” She admitted. 

  It was true. JJ always seemed to occupy her mind. Even when she was with other guys. The way he cannot seem to keep his wild eyes on the road when they’re driving somewhere. The way he fits right into her house as if he lives there too. The way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her. It was never sexual (well, rarely) whenever she thought of him. Sure, she thought of his touch, but it was the comforting feel of his hand on her lower back as he’s guiding her to their private date spot in the dark or the light feeling of his fingertips pressing into her upper back whenever he feels protective over her (usually whenever Rafe is nearby). 

  “What do you say, Baby,” JJ asked, walking towards her. “You forgive me? Nothing happened with either of them, you have my word and I might not have much, but I do have that.” He told her, grabbing her hands, holding them up as he came chest to chest with her. His forehead leaned down, resting against hers as their noses brushed.

  Her eyes fluttered closed as she relished in the feeling. His breath fanned over her lips as he watched her intently, not doing anything until he knew for sure she was okay. Slowly, almost non-existent, there was a nod. “Yeah.” She breathed out. 

  “Good,” He breathed out in the same way. “Now, let me show you exactly why you were on my mind when I was with them.” He whispered seconds before their lips crashed together in a feverish kiss. It was messy, hands roaming everywhere, lips mushed together so hard it almost hurt. Tongues and a little bit of spit moving from mouth to mouth, but they didn’t care if drool was rolling down either of their faces. 

  Chests rose and fell rapidly and it was only a few seconds in, but that’s how passionate they are. Hands gripping the bottom of JJ’s t-shirt, Y/N pulled it up, her knuckles dragging along his abs (both for her pleasure and his) making his muscles ripple and his back hunch slightly. Humming into the kiss at the feeling, Y/N nearly ripped the shirt off him, JJ pulling away to get rid of the barrier before resuming the kiss with more vigour, forcefully lifting her up into the air, her legs wrapping around his waist as some sort of automatic response. 

  The air in the room was already thick with the smell of arousal and sex. Their skin became sticky as they worked each other up. It was as if they were a force when together, possessing the power to make any room seem like a sex room specifically used for sex twenty-four seven in under ten seconds. 

With her back pressed into the wall suddenly, JJ's weight pressing her flush against it, he rolled his pelvis into hers making her tear her lips away from him, the feeling of his clothed, jean-clad pelvis rolling against hers that was basically only covered by her panties due to her skirt riding up send shock waves through her body. His lips latched onto her throat without a second thought, inciting another gasp from her - a sound that drove him mad.

  Sure, she should have told him to leave, but that wouldn’t have fixed anything. There is no way to pull them apart. No matter how many times she tells him to leave, they just keep coming back because they will never go out of style. Never. Now, be that the sheer magnitude of their passion and feelings or the pull of the stereotype they so perfectly fit, Y/N had no idea, but she never wanted it to stop.   

[dr4cking]

hiii, i think your requets are open so i would like to request a fic after hogwarts where draco and (reader) are married and maybe have a child, and draco is a professor at hogwarts. He sees his students and maybe he wants to feel young so he fucks one of his students (of legal age) and his wife finds out :(

Betrayal.

masterlist taglist

draco malfoy x reader | angst | JUST ANGST |

a/n : this is my first time writing angst and this is what i get for my first time?! but ok i’ll try and thank you for requesting! <3 (i’ll change the concept a lil bit)

the sudden regret washed over his body as she left his room, he doesnt even know why he kept doing this. but one thing for sure, he was addicted, she’s like a drug. the adrenaline rushed through his blood making him keep going back to her.

draco knew this was wrong in any way, his beloved wife or once he loved was waiting for him to come home, to be back in her arms, but he did this to her instead. what she doesnt knew wont hurt their marriage, right?

he sighed, cleaning his desk and going back to his work, his mind wandered to his wife, he hadnt wrote to her since last week, he was too busy. he pulls his drawer and grabs a quill and a parchment.

Dear Y/n,

Hello, my love. How was your week? I’m sorry I havent write to you, the work keeping me busy. How is our little boy? Please reply this letter as soon as you received it. I miss you and Scorpius. I’ll be home soon.

Love,

Draco.

draco gives the letter to his owl, he walked in to his private bedroom, locking it and throwing himself on the bed slowly closing his eyes. y/n, please forgive me.

he woke up and found the girl he has been sleeping with. straddling his hips and sit on top of him, naked. he shoots her a smile, pulling her for a kiss which she gladly returns.

“what are you doing here, sarah?” draco asked as his hands roaming around her body making her giggle.

“i feel lonely, professor.” sarah gives him a wink and starts to undressing him, she grabbed his cock and pushing it inside her making both of them moaning out loud.

sarah starts to bouncing up and down while draco meeting her move, thrusting upwards. they were having their moment, moans filling their room until the door of his room bursted open.

“draco?”

the forbidden couple stilled at the voice, draco quickly pushes sarah off of him and his heart dropped to his stomach as he sees who was interrupting their ungodly activities.

“y- y/n?! love please i can exp-” the door slamming shut making a loud thump, draco who was already pale quickly getting his clothes back running to get his wife hoping she hasnt left yet.

“y/n please listen to me!” draco yanked her wrist making her body turned around to face him, he was about to pull her in his arms but y/n shoved him away off of her.

“i’ll send divorce files as soon as possible” she turns back leaving him who already had tears running down his face.

“no! y/n!”

draco wake up panting heavily, sweats running through his forehead, he looked around and found no one, no sarah. he inhaled deeply as he realized he was just dreaming. the sun shines bright blinding his eyes forcing him to get up from his bed.

>>>>>

there she is, sitting with her legs open, for him. sarah shot him a wink at his flushed face making him gulped. he turns his body back to the board, focusing his attention on teaching his students, like he was supposed to.

draco was sitting on his chair, working through his assignments when suddenly he hears an impatient knock on his door.

“come in.” the door opened revealing the younger girl, her shirt unbuttoned enough to show him her cleavage, her skirt is on its usual short, she swayed her hips as she approaching her lover.

“hey, do you need something, baby?” draco asked as his eyes traveling down her body, the desires to have her right here coming back to him.

“oh nothing, i just needed my favorite professor..” sarah chuckles grabbing his hand to make him stand up, she runs her hands on his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt making draco shuddered.

“not now, sarah” draco looked up to the clock at his wall, his eyes now full of lust as he sees sarah taking off her shirt showing him her breasts, she doesnt even bothered to wear a bra.

he pushed sarah against the wall, his hand and his mouth latching onto her breasts, she moaned his name making he snapped back into reality.

the dream from last night replaying inside his head.

he quickly pulled himself away from her making her confused.

“hey, whats wrong?” sarah asked as she runs her fingers through his hair bringing him closer to her catching his lips.

“i’m sorry sarah i cant do this anymore” draco tried to pull away but her hands werent letting him go.

“you’re talking nonsense, draco” sarah starts to grinding on his, getting him hard, draco moaned instantly at the friction, he couldnt thinking straight anymore.

one last time, then its over, truly over. draco thought to himself as he unbuckled his trousers letting it hit the floor, he pushed her skirt up to her hips and pulling off her panties, he pushed all of his length into her, his eyes rolled back in pleasure.

draco rocked in and out of her, her body bouncing against the wall making him quickening his pace, snapping harder into her. they both were so lost in pleasure that they didnt hear the door being opened and a loud gasps coming behind them.

“draco?”. “daddy!”

their shocked voices ringing in draco’s ears as he came to a full stop, panicked showing on his face as he turned around and redressing himself.

he looks at y/n carrying their son on her hips, her hand covering his eyes. she held a look of mixed emotions in her face. draco was hoping this will not be the last time he would ever see them.

“y/n..” his voice broke as they left the room, tears streaming down y/n’s face. he runs immediately to them, pleading and begging y/n to stop her steps and listen to him, tears running down his face as he forced y/n to stop.

“please.. forgive me i promise i didnt love her, it means nothing to me, i swear..” draco dropped to his knees, holding her leg to prevent her from leaving him, he looked up to y/n who now held nothing in her face. he sobbed harder as his kid looking down at him in confusion.

“i hope it was worth it draco, thank you for all these years.” draco shakes her head crying uncontrollably as her legs kicking him off of her and in a second she and scorpius apparated.

draco gathered all of his stuff as fast as he could, telling mcgonagall that he quited. he doesnt care about sarah, he doesnt care about anything anymore at this point all he wanted was to come home hoping his wife and his child still waiting for him at the front door.

then the reality hit him in the face, he found their house empty, no sign of y/n no sign of scorpius running over the house, nothing. he dropped his body on the couch, his tears were dried, his head is dizzy, he cant help but take a look of their family picture hanging on the wall.

“fuck this!” draco smashed the picture to the ground but quickly picking it up again, he stared blankly at the picture as tears coming back to his face, his hands are shaking.

days by days passed, y/n showed no sign of coming back, draco was alone in their manor having no spirit to continued his life. he already sent his wife a letter per days to tell her and beg her to come home.

draco was sipping his tea in the kitchen when he heard rustling coming from the window, an owl approaching him and giving him envelope.

he opens the cover and he wished he didnt open it. it was a divorce paper along with a small note on top of it.

“i’ll keep you updated on scorpius.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

this was shitty af i’m sorry i tried but i’m too stupid for this thing 😖💔

tagging : @dracoscum @hellounicorn @onyourgoddamnleft @whoreforgeorgeandfred @turn-to-page-394-please @malfoysbiitch @f4iryluvy @slut4dracoo @arzfia @alexthealexthealex

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Cozy Sweaters

Jackson Neill x Reader

Sequel to Cold Hands, requested by @detectivebarba​ & written for @storiesofsvu​’s Fall Bingo! 

Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Fluff? 

Summary: Oh my god they were roommates.

3,350 words

September 8th

The living room of your apartment—what used to be your apartment—was abuzz with heated voices.

“We’re sorry, but you said you were moving out!”

“So you just gave away my room?! I’m allowed to change my mind!”

Your roommates glanced between each other, awkwardness thick in the air.

“Ed is moving here all the way from England on the promise that he would have a room. He already bought his plane ticket. We’d really be screwing him over.”

“But… where am I supposed to go?”

Jenny sighed and shook her head. “Listen, if this wasn’t so last-minute, I’d understand, but you were supposed to move in with your boyfriend next week. We already made plans to fill your spot…” She really was sorry, in other words, but you were stuck.

“Can’t you still move in with him?” Todd added, and Jenny shot daggers from her eyes.

“He cheated on me!”

“Yeah, but you said he didn’t want to break up, right? Just work things out.”

“I am not,” you hissed through gritted teeth, “ever taking him back after what he did.”

September 13th

Every one-bedroom apartment listing in the greater NYC area was out of your price range. You tapped your friend group, colleagues, and acquaintances for roommates and came back empty. You went on Craig’s List and met with a few strangers seeking roommates. The ones who weren’t terrifying never called you back.

Meanwhile, Jackson Neill had been blowing up your phone.

Well, not blowing up—the first night he got drunk and filled your inbox begging you to come back, sobbing and slurring into your voicemail, spamming indecipherable text messages. The next morning, a single text read: “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate, and it won’t happen again.”

And it didn’t.

But he sent another message a few days later telling you he’d found some more of your stuff, if you’d like it back. That you were always welcome to talk if you wanted to. He wanted to be there for you. You didn’t message him back.

September 14th

It was a cold, rainy day on campus, so you risked taking a shortcut to the dining hall. You turned the corner of an old brick building, and there he was, walking out of the Department of Religious Studies, jacket collar pulled up over his neck because the forgetful fool could never remember his umbrella.

He froze at the same time you did.

All you could hear was your pulse drumming inside your skull like rain. You knew you’d run into him eventually, but you hadn’t decided how to react, and your body wasn’t offering any suggestions.

He gave you a pitiful smile and lifted his hand. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

One leaden foot shuffled in front of the other, and you kept walking. He nodded with a wan smile and sad eyes and didn’t chase you.

The outdoor seating was closed because of the weather, so the dining hall was crowded and buzzing. You snatched a small two-seat table just as another student left, brushing a stale French fry off it onto the floor. Sinking down to enjoy your cheap sandwich, you glanced around the crowd.

A middle-aged man with a soggy jacket and salt-and-pepper hair, who had no right to be so breathtakingly handsome, was searching desperately for a seat while precariously balancing a tray of soup and coffee.

He felt your gaze on him, and you were fixed with a beam of frozen green eyes.

You waved him over.

“I wasn’t following you, I swear.”

“I don’t know, eating lunch? At lunchtime? That can’t be a coincidence.”

The corner of his lip wanted to smile, but he didn’t seem entirely sure you were joking.

“Just sit down and eat,” you sighed. “There’s nowhere else.”

He sat.

Silence crackled between you like the sky before a thunderstorm as you ate your lunches.

“So,” Jackson started cautiously, “how have you been?”

You gave a dry snort. “Oh, just fucking peachy. I’m going to be homeless in two days, thanks to you.”

“What?!”

Jackson listened with a deepening frown as you told him about your roommate plight. Then he offered you a room at his house.

“Go to hell. I’m not going to move in with you like nothing ever happened!”

“No, it wouldn’t be like that. I have a spare bedroom. It’s a big house, and I could use help with the bills. Please—it’s the least I can do. Just until you get back on your feet.”

September 17th

It wasn’t like you had much choice.

You moved into Jackson’s house as originally planned, albeit under different circumstances. Instead of sharing his bed, he cleared out the spare room he’d been using, in theory, as a “gym,” and in practice as a storage closet. There was plenty of space, and with how late he always worked at the university, you’d barely see him anyway.

This might just work out.

September 20th

This was never going to work.

Your heart broke all over again every morning you walked downstairs and saw Jackson in the kitchen making pancakes, because every time, you had to fight the urge to come up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist like you used to do.

God, you wanted him back. If only you could erase the image of him with her from your mind.

October 7th

Jackson begged you to take him back.

One thing after another had gone wrong after he publicly confronted the Meyerist Movement. The cult pressured the publisher to pull his book. The university put him on leave while they investigated his alleged relationship with a student. You wandered into the living room that night and found him curled up on the couch, and his resolve broke.

There were tears in his eyes as he tried to pull you into a hug, and when you jerked away, they cascaded down his cheeks. He kept saying he was sorry over and over.

“Please. I need you. Everything is falling apart—if I could at least have you to hold onto… just one thing that wasn’t broken. Please, just tell me how to make it up to you. Haven’t I done enough? If I could take it all back, I would. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me? Please let me hold you?”

This was hard for you, too. Part of you wanted to give in, tell him it was all OK, let him kiss you, and see him smile. The worst part of all of this was that you still loved him, but you could never trust him again. He put on such a sweet, innocent act—he was a wonderful boyfriend—but now you knew he was a manipulative liar.

You should never have moved in.

“There’s no undoing the past. We both need to move forward, not back. I’m going to start looking for other places to live.”

October 8th

Morning brought a more sober Jackson knocking at your door. Dark circles hung under his eyes, but he hadn’t been crying recently.

“Please don’t feel like you have to leave. I can get my shit together. I’m calling a therapist today.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah.” He stared at his feet, shifting on the hardwood floor.

“Jackson… I’ll only hurt you if I stay. This is too hard on you.” For us. “Besides, I can’t freeload here forever.”

“You do pay rent, you know.”

“I know, but—”

“I only have the kids every other weekend, and it’s a big house. It gets lonely. You’re doing me a favor being here.”

November 10th

In the last month, Jackson convinced you there was no hurry to move out.

He was a great roommate. He cooked, cleaned, respected your boundaries. He was a truly decent man, if an unfaithful lover, but since you were just friends now, it didn’t matter who he fucked. The biggest concern was that he wanted you back, and living together was a constant source of emotional pain. But on that front, he finally seemed to be moving on.

Whenever the topic came up, he assured you that you were welcome to stay as long as you wanted.

“It’s just so hard to find a decent place in my price range.”

“I mean it,” Jackson reiterated, adding emphasis. “If you want to stay, I enjoy having a roommate.”

You searched for hidden motives in his voice, his expression. Was this part of a long game to get you back? But his tone was friendly and open. Knowing how quickly he jumped from his ex-wife to you to Sarah, there was no way he didn’t already have his eye on someone new. At this point, you were just roommates.

“You mean permanently? Isn’t living with an ex a recipe for disaster?”

He chuckled. “The last few years with my wife were much worse than this, trust me. We were trying to stay together until the kids went to college, but emotionally, we were already divorced. It was awful… sharing a room. Constant fighting.” His eyes took a dull, faraway look as he remembered.

Worry lines creased your brow. “Are you sure you want to put yourself through that again?”

He grinned, snapping out of it, and patted you on the head like you were one of his kids. “You are nothing like her. We’re friends.”

You liked the sound of that. Friends.

November 14th

The sound of screams greeted you as you opened the front door and hung your keys on their hook next to your jacket. Jackson was watching a scary movie marathon in the living room, apropos of the foggy autumn weather.

“Candyman. Care to join?” He patted the cushion beside him.

You stayed up past midnight in your pajamas, sharing popcorn, laughing, and hiding your eyes from the gory parts. Jackson remained on the opposite side of the couch, careful not to touch you.

November 19th

You caught Jackson having lunch with an attractive student. It made your blood freeze, then boil when he walked with her back to his office.

Alone.

Fists clenched, you pressed your ear to the closed door, and heard… an essay on the role of religion in perpetuating homophobia. He was helping her edit a paper. Like professors do.

You followed them all the way from the dining hall just for talking.

When did you become a crazy ex? Why would you care if he was schtupping a hot student? You wanted him to move on—you were glad he didn’t tear up every time you walked into the kitchen anymore. But you knew then that you weren’t over him yet.

If you saw him out with someone new, it would sting like he was betraying you all over again. So you tried hard to be the one to move on first.

November 30th

A car honked outside.

“Oh, that’s my date,” you apologized to Jackson. “Gotta go.”

You got a little rush of schadenfreude from the kicked-puppy look that flashed across his face as you left him mid-conversation, sitting at the kitchen table across from your abandoned teacup. It felt like a big fuck-you, letting him know you’d be fucking someone else. A dare: let’s see if you really meant it when you said we could be friends.

But the look had barely contorted his features when he swallowed it down and smiled, “Be safe.”

He was probably going on plenty of dates himself and just didn’t tell you out of consideration for your feelings. He didn’t want you to feel used, betrayed, and immediately replaced. You were both moving on.

After a string of Tinder hookups, you felt like Jackson was out of your system, romantically speaking.

December 17th

A light dusting of snow floated down through the pale morning air. Jackson woke up on the left side of the bed, as he did every morning, and as he did every morning, turned to his right hoping to find you there. The blankets were cold.

He shivered.

You had a date last night and didn’t come home. He waited up, but never heard your car in the driveway, your keys in the door. Since you weren’t there to see his red eyes, he allowed himself to cry.

February 14th

A dull, rhythmic thumping carried through the walls. The creaking of a mattress. You cried out a name, voice cracking as you came for the second time.

It was the same guy again.

Casual hookups he could handle, but it had been the same guy for weeks now. Jackson told himself he deserved this. This was what he did to you, only while you were together. When you trusted him not to. He deserved to hear the one he loved being taken by another man.

As much as he wanted you to be his, you weren’t. He had no right to feel burning bile rising in his stomach at each of your moans and gasps. You were doing nothing wrong.

“You live here. Of course you can have dates over. No, it’s not awkward. We’re friends.”

A hot tear slid from his eye as he buried his head in a pillow.

This guy better take care of you.

May 1st

He didn’t have a roommate anymore. Not really. You spent all your time at Rodney’s apartment.

Soon you would move out, and he’ll have lost you forever.

He wanted to warn you not to move so fast, but what right did he have to judge? He let you move at the same pace with him. Let you trust him, fall in love with him, have a spare toothbrush on his sink within a few months. All the while, he figured a little action on the side wouldn’t hurt. Did he think he could chase two of you at once and get to keep the winner?

Idiot.

Sinner. That’s what his mami would say.

The few times you were home, he didn’t express his concerns about your boyfriend. He would only sound jealous, and it would push you away. If he wanted to be someone you would still answer the phone for when you moved out, he had to be a good friend, not a jealous ex.

Fuck. He hoped it worked out between you and Rodney. He really did. He hoped you were happy.

October 2nd

You came home for the first time in weeks crying. Heavy tears rolled down your face, legs shaking as you crawled up the stairs to your bedroom. Jackson was off the couch in an instant, spring up to follow you.

“Hey… Hey, what’s wrong?” He gingerly touched your shoulder, palm spreading out to make comforting circles when you didn’t shake him off. “Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, sniffing as you slumped down onto your bed. Jackson sat beside you, worry etched into his features. He was so cute. After all this time, he still cared about you. You thought about all the times he’d begged for you back, in the beginning, desperate to hold you again. Fuck, you just wanted to feel that wanted again.

“Rodney and I broke up,” you mumbled.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear th—”

You gripped the hair at the back of his head and tugged him roughly into a kiss. Every muscle in his neck and shoulders tensed. A surprised noise was muted between your crushing lips. You could have sworn, for a moment, he started kissing you back, but then his big hands clamped like two vices on your shoulders, and he pushed you away.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were wide.

“What does it look like?” you purred, fingers clawing at the buttons of his cardigan. “I want you to take me, Jackson.”

His hands stopped you from leaning close again. “No. Stop it.”

“Come on, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“We can’t… I won’t take advantage of you like that. You’re just upset, and—”

“Fuck you! So you’ll fuck anyone and not give a shit—you’ll fuck around on me and break my heart, but you won’t fuck me when I’m asking you to?! The one time I just need you to be there, and now you’re on your high fucking horse, pretending to be a good guy?! I bet you’d screw Sarah! Fuck you. Fuck you!”

Your shoulders shook as your tirade broke down more and more into sobs. Deep down, you knew he was right. You’d regret it in the morning. But you couldn’t he just… want you?

“Why? Why not? Am I that… am I that unlovable?”

“Because you crying.” Tears were shimmering in his eyes as he said it, softly wiping a tear from your cheek. “You’re crying.”

With a gasp, you threw yourself down on the bed and buried your face in a pillow. You screamed into it, your own breath hot and wet against your face. Jackson’s weight shifted the mattress beside you, and your hand shot out in panic, blindly groping toward the movement. You felt pathetic. Needy. But you didn’t want to be alone.

“Don’t go.”

The mattress sank back down under him. “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t take advantage of you, but if you want me to stay, I’ll stay. As long as you want.”

That was all you wanted to hear in that moment, to know someone wouldn’t abandon you. His warm hand rubbed your back in slow circles as you wept, patiently listening as you told him everything in disjointed, broken pieces. How you were just being paranoid—invading Rodney’s privacy when he left his phone unlocked. You were paranoid because your last boyfriend cheated. Then you found the lewd messages, and it didn’t seem real. Plans to meet at a bar downtown. You didn’t believe it until he was toweling off, telling you something came up with his mom, and he’d be out for a while. And you followed him down to the bar and saw them together.

“He was an asshole,” Jackson said.

“Am I doomed? Cursed? Why does everyone cheat on me? Is it my fault?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Shut up! You did it, too,” you snapped. “I’m just not special enough to hold anyone’s attention. I’ll never be enough.”

“No,” he growled with a ferocity that startled you, “You’re wonderful, and anyone would be lucky to have you. That guy was an asshole, and so was I for taking you for granted. You did nothing to deserve this. One day you’ll find someone who appreciates you… who learns to treat you the way you deserve to be treated before they lose the best thing to ever happen to them.”

You shifted to press yourself closer to him. The tears didn’t stop, but a warmth spread through your chest. Jackson felt like a cozy sweater—warm and familiar. Easy to cry into. His arms were surprisingly solid and thick, but gentle when they closed around you.

He was a comfortable old sweater you could slip back on after leaving it in the closet for a year.

***

Hours passed by, and you had no more tears left. No energy left to move. Jackson was still beside you, keeping watch, as promised. You were curled up with your head in his lap, his fingers in your hair.

When he was sure you were asleep, he carefully extracted himself from under you, gradually shifting your head onto the pillow so you wouldn’t wake up. He breathed, heart aching as he looked down at your sleeping form. You deserved better than tear-stained cheeks. He knew he had no right to be so angry, but he couldn’t stand seeing you hurt again.

You wouldn’t have been if he had just…

He let his tears fall silently. This was about you, and he didn’t want to make you console him, but you were asleep now. He could let go.

He ran his fingers through your hair one last time. Then, with a furtive glance, he bent and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I never stopped.”

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Tags: @beccabarba​ / @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ / @thatesqcrush​ / @dianilaws​ / @permanentlydizzy​ / @mrsrafaelbarba​ / @madamsnape921​ / @astrangegirlsmind​ / @neely1177​ / @onerestein​ / @dreamlover31​ / @isvvc-pvscvl​​  / @shroomiehomie / @storiesofsvu​ / @welcometothemxdhouse​​ / @feedthemadness-sweetie​ / @law-nerd105​ / @amelia-song-pond​ / @michael-rooker​ / @xecq / @madpanda75​ / @alwaysachorusgirl​ / @bananas-pajamas​ / @leanor-min​ / @mad-girl-without-a-box​ / @katierpblogg​ / @worldofvixen​ / @sassyada​ / @detectivebarba​

[thirstyforcharacters]

When the Universe Collides (Sam Wilson x Reader)

Summary: Every person has a soulmate. When your soulmate experiences pain, so do you, and any bruises, scars, or other markings that they get appear on your skin. Or, the story of how smacking yourself in the face with a cabinet was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Notes: Hi! Since the first episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out today, I wanted to write something for Sam! He’s super underrated and deserves more love! Also, this soulmate AU is extremely self-indulgent and has absolutely nothing to do with the TV show, but tbh I don’t care. Hope you all enjoy it too! (no y/n, no pronouns) (PS: any italicized text is Sam texting and the italicized and bold text is the reader texting!)

Warnings: mentions of a stab wound (nothing explicit), cursing I guess 

WC: 2.2 k

Your soulmate must have one hell of a job.

Almost every day, you woke up with dark bruises covering your body. It seemed that whenever one faded, another took its place. At completely random times, you would double over in aches that you certainly didn’t inflict upon yourself. One time, in the middle of the night, you woke up with pain in your stomach so intense, it felt like someone had stabbed you! It turned out that it was a stab wound, but given that no one had stabbed you lately (or ever), you figured it was from your soulmate. You definitely didn’t appreciate that hospital bill.

But you still desperately wanted to meet them. Meet that person that completed you: your other half. As a teenager, you made your parents tell you the story of the day they finally met so many times, you knew it by memory. They were both in the library at college, and your mom dropped a psychology textbook on her foot! Her howl of pain was only matched by the “SON OF A BITCH” that came from your dad on the opposite side of the library. When the two of them made eye contact, they instantly knew they were the ones for each other (they were also immediately kicked out for making such a ruckus). You wanted to have that moment so badly; meeting your soulmate was a huge milestone in every person’s life, and you needed it.

Your best friend and roommate, Brianna, had met hers just two months ago. They had met at the beach, when out of nowhere, Bri had shrieked in shock and pain.

“A crab just pinched me!”

When you had looked at her foot and told her nothing was there, she was totally confused, until you saw a handsome guy with a crab hanging from his foot! He had introduced himself as Julian, and the two had been inseparable since. He was living with you now, and you had honestly never felt more lonely in your life. Sure, you had your dream career; you ran a music shop in New York City, selling instruments, making repairs, and meeting all sorts of interesting people. You had a decent apartment, a chill best friend, and the cutest Yorkie, named Muffin, on the planet. By all accounts, you had it pretty good. You were just missing your other half.

It was a rainy day in NYC. The chill of winter was still clinging onto the March air, and you shivered as you trudged from your apartment to your shop. Even though you had an umbrella to protect you from the rain, the wind blew right through the too-thin jacket you yanked off of the coatrack in a rush. Still holding your half-eaten toaster strudel in your hand, you pushed open the doors to Major Instruments and Minor Repairs, your pride and joy.

It was two floors: the first was where you sold instruments, and the repair shop was above. Acoustic panels were attached to the burnt red walls to help quiet down the place, since the hardwood floors didn’t do much to help with that. The checkout desk was directly in the center in the room. Surrounding it were reeds, bottles of valve oil, and guitar strings. Picks were placed in two clear, plastic bowls on the desk itself. In the front left corner of the room was a grand piano, situated right in the window so passersby could see whenever someone plucked its keys. The entire back wall was covered in guitars and basses. To the right of the desk was a large drumset, accompanied by a pair of drumsticks and brushes. On the right wall were string instruments; string basses and cellos were leaned against the wall, while the violins, violas, and bows were displayed on it. Woodwind and brass instruments were scattered across the room in various display cases. Instrument stands, bow rosin, and miscellaneous instrument parts were on shelves throughout the room as well. The spiral staircase leading up to the repair shop was in the back left corner of the room. Behind the staircase was the door to the back store room, where you kept your extra supplies and also where you took your breaks.

“Good morning!” called Andrew, one of your closest friends from college, from behind the desk.

You waved in reply, wandering to the back store room. You were lucky you had Andrew; you could rely on him to run the front desk while you and Brianna assisted customers on the floor. Unfortunately, Bri had the flu today, so it would just be you on the floor, which would make things a little more hectic. You hurriedly finished your strudel, took off your jacket, which left you in a black and white flannel, a matching black tank top reading “Music is Life,” black leggings, and black combat boots (you had an aesthetic to uphold), and strode back out to the main area.

“You seem in a bit of a rush. Everything okay?” asked Andrew, who was currently restocking bell covers.

You sighed, “Just a whirlwind of a morning. Bri has the flu, Muffin nearly choked on a chicken bone, I almost burned my toaster strudel, and I smacked myself in the face with my cabinet door by accident.”

“Oh, that’s where the new bruise on your eye is from,” he mused.

You snorted, “Yeah, for once it’s not from my soulmate.”

“Maybe he’s a spy. Or a superhero!”

“Yeah, or a criminal,” you joined in on the restocking, grabbing some trumpet mutes since the place opened in just half an hour, “thanks for opening up, by the way.”

“It’s no problem,” he replied, “you know I don’t mind.”

The doorbell jingled and two of your instrument repair people, Sarah (for strings), and Natalie (for brass), entered. Natalie was lugging what was unmistakably a tuba case, while Sarah carried both of their instrument repair kits.

“Morning, ladies!” called Andrew.

“Good morning,” Sarah replied pleasantly.

Natalie huffed out a “morning” and dragged the tuba up the stairs.

“Her tuba’s broken. The tubing that holds up her mouthpiece completely snapped off. She’s going to try and repair it before her appointments today,” explained Sarah.

You winced, “That’s rough.”

Sarah dropped off both of their jackets and followed Natalie up the stairs leaving you alone with Andrew again. Soon after, Erik, your percussion guy, and John, the woodwind repairman, arrived, and it was time for the shop to open. For a while, it was just another mundane Thursday. Customers came and went. People tested the piano and drumsets, someone bought $100 worth of jazz scores, and a teenaged boy came in who somehow got a ping pong ball stuck in their trombone (you learned to never ask). But at exactly 1:47 pm, a time you would never forget, two very unexpected customers walked through the threshold of your store. You were up on a ladder, carrying a large, rather heavy, box of violin bows to situate on the wall, when you heard their voices.

“I’m telling you, Buck, I’m a wizard at the saxophone.”

“Sure, Sam. I’ll believe it when I hear it.”

“I’m serious, dude! I played all the time before I joined the military, and I picked it back up a little bit again after the whole Avengers thing. I just need to get a new one.”

“Hmm, okay. We’ll see.”

“Bastard.”

You whipped your head around and saw the Falcon and the Winter Soldier themselves in your shop. Having superheros in your place was a first. And who knew Sam Wilson played the saxophone?

Andrew offered them a cheerful greeting and directed them toward the saxophones, which happened to be near the ladder you were teetering on. Every time you leaned up to put a bow on display, it wobbled so badly you thought you were going to fall. You really needed to allocate some funds toward a new one.

As you continued to place bows on display, you heard the conversation of the two gentlemen browsing the saxophones. Apparently, Sam much preferred the tenor sax (which you happened to play, quite well you might add). Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him pick up a Selmer Paris model and inspect it. Those didn’t come cheap, but you were sure that saving the world gave a man a pretty decent paycheck.

“You think I can test it out?”

“I don’t know, dude. You should probably ask.”

You saw him nod, “Yeah, I guess so. And there’s not a reed in here, anyway. Excuse me!”

You realized he was calling you, so you craned your head to look at him. Both men were looking up at you, both with kind smiles on their faces.

“Is there any way I can get a cheap reed to test this out with,” Sam asked, “and are we even allowed to test them in store?”

You smiled back, “Yes, you can. We have test reeds at the front desk, just ask Andrew and he’ll give you one. That’s the only one you’ll get though.”

“Cool, thanks,” he replied while looking around, “nice place you’ve got here.”

Your smile grew a little wider, “Thank you! It took a little while to get it off of the ground, but I’m really proud of how it turned out.”

It was almost as if the universe wanted you to suffer. You stretched up to display yet another bow, and the ladder toppled to the ground, taking you with it! You shrieked in surprise and braced yourself for the impact with the floor.

But it never came.

Instead, you were caught in a pair of (ridiculously) muscular arms. When you looked into the arms of your hero, of course it was Sam himself. He was too handsome for his own good. The thing that stood out most to you were his deep brown eyes. And how, on the left one, was a bruise that exactly matched the one that you gave yourself this morning.

“Are you alright? That ladder must have it out for you,” joked Sam, though you could tell that he was concerned for you.

“I’m okay,” you squeaked, “thank you.”

“It’s no problem. All a part of the job.”

You nodded distractedly, still fixated on the bruise adorning his eye. He couldn’t be your soulmate, could he?

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he questioned.

“I-yes. I just got a bit, well, distracted.”

“By what?”

Well, it was now or never. You might as well just go for it.

“When did you get that bruise?”

He looked a bit surprised by the question, “The one on my eye?”

You nodded.

“This morning. It just popped up. Hurt a little bit, like something hit me in the face. Can’t be worse than what I’ve given my soulmate, though. I got stabbed in the stomach once and all I could think about was how confused and hurt they must’ve been,” came his reply.

It was him. It had to be! All of your random, serious injuries made so much more sense now.

“It did hurt,” you murmured back, “but not as much as the hospital bill.”

His face went from apologetic to elated faster than you had ever seen, “Wait, that means it’s you?”

“I think so,” you said, “I hit myself in the eye with a cabinet door this morning, and that-” you gestured to his face, “matches mine.”

“Oh, it does!” he exclaimed.

“Are you two done over there?” complained Bucky.

Thankfully, the Winter Solider had successfully rescued your box of bows.

Sam stood you up, and you could feel the embarrassment slowly creeping over you, “Yeah. Sorry about that, guys. Promise I’m not usually that clumsy.”

“Seems like you need a new ladder,” Bucky told you.

“You don’t say,” you sassed back, prompting a laugh from Sam.

Bucky then strode off to return the fallen box to Andrew. He gave Sam a knowing look as he passed by. He wasn’t very slick, though, you totally saw him.

“Listen, since apparently we’re soulmates and all, I’d love it if I got your number. I’ll take you somewhere nice to make up for all of the times I’ve gotten you hurt,” explained Sam.

You smiled bashfully, “That sounds nice.”

He handed you his phone and you input your digits. As Sam and Bucky were in the checkout line, your phone buzzed.

Hey, gorgeous. It’s your new man.

You giggled softly and looked up at him. He gave you an exaggerated wink and launched finger guns at you, making you laugh a bit harder. You entered his number into your phone and decided to send a text back.

Looking forward to you making up for all of those broken bones.

Me too.

You knew you’d be happy with him. Whenever the universe collided in this way, it always turned out for the best. If your parents and your roommate weren’t enough proof, soon you would discover it for yourself. You couldn’t wait for all of the memories you’d make together.

[omgrachwrites]

The Castle on The Hill - Chapter One

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Summary: You’re doomed to spend a life in a loveless marriage, with your childhood best friend but that doesn’t soften the blow. When a handsome but aloof wanderer crosses your path one snowy night, you fall head over heels. The heavens have brought you together but will they tear you apart?

Warnings: fluff, lil bit of angst, ooc Loki, Loki being adorable

Words: 2554

Disclaimer: This is pre Thor so Loki will be ooc! This gif doesn’t belong to me!

A/N: I loved writing this first part, not sure how I feel about it hahaha, I hope you guys enjoy it, please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! Ps: thank you to @whimsicalrogers​ for the amazing header! xxx

Wandering in the winter light The wicked and the sane Bear witness to salvation And life starts over again

Winter Light - Sarah Brightman

Chapter One - Winter Light

Thick, perfect snow was building up around the edges of the window pane and the windows themselves shook and quivered beneath the harsh winter wind. You sincerely hoped that the window wasn’t going to smash. The weather was acting rather peculiar, winter was almost over but the snow was coming down thicker than it had done in the depths of the winter, when it was dark and unforgiving outside.

However, you didn’t mind at all, you loved the snow, with a soft smile you approached the window and peered through the frosty glass. Even from here, you could see the details of the snowflakes that were resting on the window pane. Each one was unique. You gazed out of the window at your family’s vast estate. Snow blanketed the grass, making the blades sparkle like precious gems. The stream hadn’t completely frozen over yet but you spied the snowdrift that was being carried along by the gentle current.

You longed for this beautiful estate when you were away from it, you were just spending a passing visit today. Currently, you lived a couple of miles away, on the other side of the village, and your new home was beautiful but you were incredibly lonely.

“Y/N,” a small voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you turned away from the window, smiling when you saw it was your little brother, William, standing in the doorway, “Mother wants us to meet in the dining room for dinner.”

You ruffled William’s head of curls with a laugh, “and, Father? Is he still out in the storm?”

William rolled his eyes and sighed, “yes, he’s out making sure all the animals are safe from the snow, Matthew is helping him.”

“Of course he is,” you sighed as you followed William out of the room that your parents had set up for you.

Your betrothed, Matthew, was your childhood friend, your family and his had set you up for marriage and neither of you could do a thing to stop it. He was so kind and considerate but you didn’t love him. It was sad, really.

William ran ahead of you, leaving you to gracefully glide down the portrait lined hallway, feeling the hard wood against your feet. From downstairs, you heard your father chuckle and bellow, “set another place for dinner, Katherine! We have a guest that I found lost in the storm.”

You frowned, feeling your eyebrows knit together, you really had no idea what on Earth your father was talking about. As you held up your skirts and descended the staircase, you saw your father and Matthew standing in the hallway.

There was a third man too, a very handsome man with thick ebony curls and alabaster skin. His hair was damp with all the snowflakes that had melted in it and he was looking at your father with mild annoyance plain on his face. The stranger must have heard the swish of your heavy skirts or the creak of your footsteps because he looked away from your father and looked up, his eyes meeting yours. You almost gasped as he looked at you, you had never seen anyone more beautiful and you’d never seen prettier eyes.

The both of you stared at each other and as you stood off the last step, he smiled pleasantly at you, the edges of those pale eyes crinkling at the edges.

“There’s my beautiful daughter, Y/N!” the boom of your father’s voice broke the spell between you and you looked away from each other, guilt swirling in your gut as you smiled over at Matthew who was looking between you and the stranger with a raised eyebrow. Your father chuckled as he leaned to kiss your cheek, his stubble scratching against your skin, “this is Loki, he’s joining us for dinner,” he gestured at the beautiful stranger.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Loki,” you smiled, holding your hand out to him, feeling your cheeks flush. You thought that he would only shake it but instead, he raised it to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss to the top of it.

“The pleasure is all mine, Y/N,” he had a lovely voice, it was like warm honey.

With a delighted little smile, you pulled your hand away and looked over at Matthew with a small smile, “hello, darling,” he bent down to kiss your cheek.

Dinner was a splendid affair, the roast suckling pig was delicious and there was a glorious fire crackling merrily in the centre. Loki looked mildly impressed with his surroundings, “thank you for your hospitality but it’s really not necessary. I will take my leave after dinner,” his voice was like velvet and honey, it warmed you from the inside. You noticed that he’d barely touched his food.

Matthew snorted into his food – it was so unbecoming of a gentleman – as he looked over at Loki, “I wish you luck with that, my friend.”

“I’m sorry?” Loki asked, a quick flash of annoyance crossing his handsome face.

“Due to the incoming storm, they’ve closed the mountain passed, it will be blocked with snow before tomorrow and it’s the only way to get to the valley below. So you’ll be stuck here until it passes, I’m afraid.”

You could see the muscles in Loki’s jaw clench as he gritted his teeth and Matthew smirked at you before he turned back to Loki, “of course, you’re more than welcome to stay on my estate for the time being.”

You glared at Matthew. How dare he invite a perfect stranger to your home without consulting you first?

“We’re leaving for our home on the morrow, it’s only a few miles up the road. Thankfully, we don’t have to go through the mountain pass.”

Loki gave him a grateful look but shook his head, “really, I can stay at an inn in the village.”

Matthew laughed as he speared a piece of meat onto his knife, “with this storm, you won’t get a room, it’s really no trouble is it, Y/N?”

Loki ran a hand through his hair and looked over at you with a gentle smile, your throat went dry and you were momentarily lost for words.

“Well, I think that it’s a great idea!” your mother beamed, clapping her hands together. William looked extremely bored by the conversation.

“Y/N?” Matthew prompted, biting on his bottom lip to keep himself from laughing.

“Of course, you’re more than welcome to stay with us,” it might be unwise but your mother and father had always raised you to be hospitable. You couldn’t leave him stranded on the mountain.

A small smile spread across Loki’s face and he looked at you from beneath his long eyelashes, “thank you, Y/N, you’re very gracious,” your name rolled off his tongue like a caress and you hid your blushing face in your goblet of wine. You couldn’t let your mother and father see your reaction to this beautiful wanderer.

“You’re welcome,” you nodded around your jewelled goblet.

As you looked over the table at your betrothed, you narrowed your eyes and clenched your teeth at the smug look on his face, “darling, may I speak with you?”

Matthew’s smirk widened as he rose from the table, “excuse us,” he offered you his hand and you took it before you smiled over at Loki. He gave you a weak smile in return as he went back to his food.

With a sigh, you led Matthew out into the corridor, the howling wind hadn’t eased up and you shivered as a chill wracked through your body, “what on Earth do you think you’re doing?” you hissed, feeling annoyed, “inviting a complete stranger to come and stay with us, he could be dangerous, he could be a madman!” you were getting rather hysterical now.

Matthew sighed and cupped your cold cheek with a warm hand, “he’s not a madman, I have a good feeling about him.”

You pulled away from him, shaking your head, “how do you know that?!”

“Because, I saw the way he was looking at you and the way that you were looking at him. He was looking at you like he’d never seen anything more beautiful, like you were an angel. I invited him over because I know how lonely you are and I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy.”

You scoffed as you wrapped your arms around yourself, ignoring his sentiment, “we’re engaged, what does it matter if we become fond of each other?”

Matthew laughed bitterly, “he’ll soon realise that we’re not in love.”

For the first time, that evening you looked closely at Matthew, his eyes were tired and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for a little while. You had busied yourself with sulking about your predicament that you hadn’t even stopped to consider that he could be feeling the same way. You were glad that you were marrying someone kind but for once, you wanted to feel passion, like in those romance novels you liked to read, of Knights and Queens.

With a soft sigh, Matthew took your hands in his, “first sign of trouble and he’s out Y/N, I promise.”

You smiled, “alright, thank you for thinking of me,” you kissed his cheek gently and the both of you retreated back into the dining room, “may I show you to your room for the night, Loki?”

The beautiful man smiled at you as he stood from his seat, “that would be lovely, thank you.”

As you led Loki down the labyrinths of the house he looked around with great interest and his green blue eyes sparkled in the dim glow of the candlelight. You smiled at him as you let him into the room, it was a spacious room with huge shuttered windows and a mahogany fireplace. The bed was made with velvet sheets.

“Is this going to be alright?” you glanced over your shoulder at him, flushing and looking away when you saw that he had taken off his evening jacket and he’d rolled the sleeves of his linen shirt up to his elbows.

Loki looked around the room with delight as he looked back at you and nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair, “this will be quite fine, thank you once again, Y/N,” he brushed his hand against yours ever so gently, he was just a breath away.

You almost shivered as you felt tingles shoot down your spine as you felt his soft touch, “goodnight, Loki.”

Loki had thought of escaping the mortals in the dark of the night but he knew that his actions would be futile. The way back to Asgard was far away from the mountain village, and unfortunately, Heimdall would not be able to hear him from here. To make matters even worse, his magic was behaving rather strangely, he could not trust it to get him back home. So, he was stuck until the mountain pass was clear from snow. It was his payment for being so curious about mere mortals.

However there, was one advantage to be stuck in this frozen place, and it was the beautiful young woman, the lonely beautiful young woman who was betrothed. The smile she gave him the next morning beneath the winter sunlight warmed him from the inside.

“Good morning, Loki. Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you,” he smiled but before he could ask her the same thing, Matthew came striding out of the house, looking rather jovial.

“Loki!” he chuckled, slapping Loki on the shoulder like they’d known each other for all of their lives, “will you be riding alongside the carriage with me, old boy?”

Loki heard Y/N sigh and sniffle, when he glanced over at her, he saw that she was looking at the snowy ground. She looked very glum. Loki bit his lip as he looked back over at Matthew, “no, I’ll ride in the carriage with Y/N,” he looked back over at the beautiful woman with a small smile, and in return, she shot him a grateful look.

“Fair enough,” Matthew shrugged, winking at Y/N.

As Y/N and Loki rode in the bumpy, drafty carriage, Loki peered out of the window at the beautiful scenery before him. The rolling hills were encased with glistening snow and Loki could only imagine how beautiful the mountaintops would look in the summertime with never-ending clusters of mountain flowers with a cloudless blue sky up above.

“Where are you from, Loki?” Y/N asked and when he looked over at her face, he smiled. What was he going to say?

“All over really,” he chuckled, ruffling a hand through his hair, “I had to get away for a little while.”

Y/N laughed as she looked out of the window longingly, “you’re lucky.”

Loki grimaced to himself, if only she knew the real story. As they travelled alongside a frozen diamond waterfall with little cottages nestled away in the thicket of trees, Y/N shivered and without a second thought, Loki took off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. He hardly needed it anyway, the cold had never really bothered him and his mother had always raised him to be chivalrous when someone was in need.

Y/N gave him an innocent glance as her eyes went round, “Loki, your coat. You’ll be cold too,” she made to take it off but Loki stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist, he could feel her pulse jump beneath his fingers.

“Please, keep it. The cold doesn’t really bother me, it never has,” he smiled, he didn’t know the reason why but in this moment he was grateful for it.

“Thank you,” she smiled and nestled further into the coat.

A little while later, the carriage was passing through a wrought iron gate and Loki gazed up at Y/N’s home. It was more of a castle than a house with two turrets on each side of it, it was made from grey stone and the snow settled on the roof like icing on a cake. From the left side Loki could see a vast lake and a thicket of trees. The young God smiled as he spied a pure white winter hare speed across the frozen ground.

He looked back at Y/N who didn’t look too thrilled to be home, “you have a beautiful home.”

Colour rose in her cheeks and she smiled at him, “thank you, it’s my favourite in the Spring. We have deer and rabbits on the front lawn and ducks on the lake. The lawn gets full with mountain flowers. In the Winter it’s rather gloomy.”

Loki smiled at the way she described it, he could almost smell the perfume from the flowers and taste the growing fruit in the air, “it sounds wonderful.”

“It is,” she sighed, a wistful look on her face as she bit her lip and looked away from him as the carriage stopped, “it’s a pity that you’ll never get to see it in the Spring. Aren’t you leaving once the storm clears up.”

Loki nodded as he looked at the dark wooden floor of the carriage, scuffing his boot along it, “I will be leaving. So, I suppose I’ll just have to dream about it,” he gestured at the castle with an almost longing sigh.

@smiithys​ @sheris532​

[dreamypeaches]

don’t wake up pt. 2 | rafe cameron x reader

summary: after spending the week hoping to see rafe again, sarah invites you to a sleepover at tannyhill.

warnings: SMUT, cursing, alcohol use

word count: 2.8k

a/n: thank you all for the wonderful response to part 1! this is my first time posting smut, so let me know what you think of it. i honestly think i did a good job rereading it, bc it is hot. there will definitely be one or two more parts to this, maybe even more idk. all i know for sure is there will be a lot more sexy times. enjoy :)

series masterlist

It had been a week since the Boneyard kegger and you couldn’t get Rafe out of your head. You hadn’t seen him since that night, at least not in real life. Your dreams, however, were plagued with him. The way his hands had gripped your hips, his lips on your lips, your neck, imagining how they would feel on other parts of your body.

Part of you had been tempted to drive down to Figure 8 and “run into him” somewhere. One morning, after an especially steamy dream, you almost asked Sarah for his number. But then you thought of the questions that would come with that request and decided against it. You felt pathetic, pining after a guy you’d spent a couple hours with. A guy who, by all accounts was an asshole and hated people like you. Why would he want a Pogue like you?

Still, you wanted to see him. At least once. Just look in his eyes and see if that same spark was there. You had even tagged along with JJ during the day more often than usual, hoping Rafe and his Kook friends would appear to antagonize one of your best friends. But he was nowhere to be seen. As the week came to a close, you resigned yourself to experiencing his touch in your dreams only.

You were laying in the hammock at the Chateau listening to music with Kie, who laid beside you lazily braiding your hair, when Sarah suddenly appeared. She practically jumped onto you and Kie’s laps, a grin on her face.

“Let’s have a girls night!” She proclaimed, “Ward and Rose are taking Wheezie and her friend on a mini vacation on the mainland, so I have Tannyhill all to myself!”

“What about Rafe?” You asked, trying to fill your voice with disdain rather than hope. Sarah scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry about him, I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother us. So?”

You and Kie looked at each other. Kie raised her eyebrows, a smirk on her face. You smiled back and nodded. Both of you looked back at Sarah.

“We’re in!” Kie said.

“Yay!” Sarah pulled both of you into a hug, already unleashing all of her plans for the night. After telling you to be there at 6, she left to prepare for the night.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a night just us girls. I mean, I love the boys, but I could use a break from them,” Kie said, finishing the braid in your hair.

“Yeah, fuck the boys,” You giggled, though in your head, you were much more focused on one particular boy than the girls night ahead of you.

Kie drove you to Sarah’s house, arriving at 6:30. Kie complained about how long it took you to get ready for a sleep over. You just laughed and told her you needed to look good for your girls. If she had know the truth, her head might have exploded. You had worn your cutest pair of pajamas, a large shirt with short shorts that left little to the imagination. You’d even done your make up. Not much, keeping it natural. After all, it was a sleep over, you didn’t need to go all out.

You were disappointed when you didn’t see Rafe as you walked in, but assumed Sarah had probably threatened him with violence if he came anywhere near her friends. You tried not to let thoughts of Rafe distract you, actually wanting to enjoy the night with your best girl friends. Sarah had stolen a couple bottles of wine from her dad’s wine cellar, passing around wine glasses before heading up to her room.

The three of you quickly became tipsy on the wine, giggling at little things. You all were laying on Sarah’s large bed, giggling at Sarah’s sexual mishap with John B in the Twinkie.

“I thought my nipple was going to come off! Like I’m sorry, I know it probably hurt when I kneed your dick, but who bites a nipple that hard? So, moral of the story, never have sex in the back of the van.”

You and Kie burst into laughter, while Sarah contained her giggles, trying her best to look annoyed.

“What about you two? Any sexy stories to share? Y/N, what about that Touron from the kegger?”

Your laughter quickly faded as Rafe was brought to the forefront of your mind. You bit your lip, trying to hide a smile.

“Nothing happened, I haven’t seen him since that night.”

“Well, you need to track him down!” Kie exclaimed, sitting up on her elbow to look down at you. You just shrugged, not meeting your friend’s eyes.

“Y/N, you should have seen the look on your face when we were leaving. You had literal stars in your eyes.”

You shrugged and downed the rest of you wine, sitting up on the bed.

“I don’t know. If I run into him again, we’ll see what happens. I’m gonna go get some water.”

Sarah started asking Kie about the girl she had been talking to as you padded out of the room and down the stairs.

You made your way to the kitchen, where a happy surprise waited for you. Rafe stood cooking something at the stove. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. His back was facing you, giving you a moment to take in his form. Your eyes wandered his body, tracing his biceps and the curve on his shoulder blade.

“Hi, Rafe,” You finally said, just loud enough for him to hear. He turned suddenly, surprised expression quickly turning to a smirk. You looked into his green eyes and felt your heart jump when you saw it. That spark you’d been hoping for for the past week.

“Hey,” he replied. You slowly made your way to the cupboard, making sure to brush up against him as you passed.

“How’ve you been?” He asked. You shrugged, filling up your glass at the fridge.

“I’ve been better. I’ve been a little lonely, especially at night, you know? My mind starts to wander to certain places,” You moved back over to Rafe. Your chests were almost touching as he smirked down at you. His breath fanned across your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe you need a little company,” He whispered, his low tone going straight to your core. You smiled at him innocently, moving so your lips were inches apart.

“Yeah I do.”

You noticed him start to lean in and quickly pulled away, skipping towards the stairs.

“That’s why I’m having girls night,” You called, keeping the innocent look on you face. His light eyes had grown dark, watching as you moved away. They followed the curve of you ass, very evident in the shorts you were wearing. You inwardly smirked at the effect you had and started up the stairs.

“Your grilled cheese is burning, by the way,” You called. You giggled at the quiet shit he let out and made your way back to Sarah’s room.

You, Kie, and Sarah spent the next several hours having as much fun as you could. After a few dance parties, a couple rounds of truth or dare, and intense argument about whether Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus was better that almost turned violent, you all collapsed on to the bed, turning on a random movie. Sarah and Kie fell asleep quickly, but you were wide awake, replaying the moment with Rafe in the kitchen.

You rubbed your thighs together, wanting nothing more than for Rafe to touch you. With a groan, you hopped out the bed and quietly escaped Sarah’s room. You had been to Sarah’s house several times before, but your knowledge of the layout was reduced to the path from the kitchen to Sarah’s room. You tiptoed down the hallway, trying to figure out which room was his. You a few doors down from Sarah’s, you could see a faint light from beneath the door frame. You knocked a couple times, then stood, waiting. It didn’t take long for Rafe to open the door. He was still shirtless, but had removed his sweatpants, leaving him in just his boxers. He smirked down at you, a hand coming up to cup the back of your head.

“You fucking tease,” He said before crashing his lips onto yours. You were almost knocked off your feet by the force of it. You placed your hands on his chest to stabilize yourself. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. Without breaking the kiss, he moved you into his room, kicking the door closed behind him. His hand moved down to your ass, gripping hard as he lightly slammed you against the wall. He broke the kiss, brushing your hair out of your face as his eyes examined your flustered face. The same hand slowly moved down your cheek until it was gripping your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful. Do you have any idea what you do to me? I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week, how I wanted to fuck you while you screamed my name.”

You let out a whimper at his words, breathing uneven. You could feel your panties become more and more soaked as his hand moved from your ass to your hip, playing with the waist band of your shorts.

“Then you come into my kitchen wearing this, getting me all worked up.” He laughed humorlessly, his hand diving below your waistband. His fingers ghosted across the soaked fabric that covered your center.

“Got yourself all worked up too, didn’t you?”

Your panties were pushed to the side, giving him space to run his fingers through your folds. You let out a moan as you nodded. His finger came up to his lips, sucking your wetness from them.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you,” He said before going on his knees in front of you. His breath fanned against your inner thighs as he slowly slid your shorts down your thighs. When they landed on the floor, you stepped out of them and kicked them across the floor. Rafe placed gentle kisses across your thighs and stomach, avoiding the spot you needed him most. You whimpered as his mouth hovered over your clothed clit.

“What do you want, baby?” Rafe said.

“Touch me, Rafe, please, I need you!” You moaned out. He was quick to respond, fingers deftly moving your underwear aside, giving him space to wrap his lips around your sensitive bundle, lightly sucking. You moaned so loudly it was almost a scream. Rafe gave a hard slap to your ass in response, looking up at you.

“Uh uh, not too loud, angel. Don’t want your friends to hear, do you?”

You shook your head quickly, hand reaching down to push him closer to your pussy. He chuckled before compiling, licking a strip up your center, thumb moving to rub circles against your clit. Your head fell back against the wall as he continued his movements. His tongue delved into you, flicking in and out. One of his arms wrapped around your thigh, holding you up while spreading you wider. You were already a mess of pleasure when he slowly pushed two fingers into you, tongue moving up to you clit. You bit your lip to surpress your moans, but it was difficult as his fingers started to move faster. It became too much and a single, long moan escaped your mouth. Rafe’s movements ceased. He removed his fingers from you and stood up, hand gripping your hair, pulling it to where there was more pleasure than pain,

“What the fuck did I say?” He asked. Your tried to rub your thighs together, trying to regain the friction you had lost, but he moved his leg between your own.

“I’m sorry, Rafe. Please, I’ll be quiet, I promise,” You whimpered.

He smirked at you.

“Yes you will.”

He kissed you again, tongue dominating your own as he explored your mouth. He dragged you to the bed, throwing you down on your back before returning to his knees, pulling you to the edge of the mattress. He nearly ripped your panties off, mouth diving back to taste your dripping center. His hand reached up, clasping over your mouth, while the other returned to your entrance, fingers fucking you roughly. It didn’t take long before you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. Your screams were muffled behind Rafe’s hand as he continued to lick and suck on your clit, fingers pounding into you. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you came on his fingers. You felt him smirk as you clenched around him, but his movement didn’t let up. He moved his hand up under your shirt to massage your breast while his tongue moved down to fuck your entrance. He went back an forth between your entrance and you clit, hand moving between both your breasts to roughly massage them. Your second orgasm came fast and hard, leaving you with stars behind your eyes as he lapped up your juices.

He moved up your body, biting and sucking across your torso, leaving bright red and purple marks like constellations. He reached your face and removed his hand, kissing you hard and allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. He broke away, pulling your shirt over head and throwing it to the side before standing up, pulling his boxers off. You bit your lip as you stared at his cock, wanting nothing more than to wrap your lips around it. He stroked himself a few times, taking in your fuck out look and the hungry look in your eyes.

“Don’t worry, baby, you’ll get to taste my cock later. Right now, I want to feel you.”

He reached into his bedside table and pulled out a condom. He ripped it open and rolled it over his dick, stroking it a few for times. He stood over you, eyes once again raking over your body.

“God, look at you. You’re gonna take me so good.” He leaned over you, hand coming up to grip your throat. A moan started to escape your lips at the pressure, but he caught it with a kiss. He pushed himself into you as he kissed you, giving you little time to adjust to his size before he started pounding into you. He broke the kiss, holding himself up on his forearm as he thrusted into you. His hand tightened around your throat, muffling your loud moans slightly, leaving the only other sound in the room to be the slapping of skin and the dirty words Rafe whispered in your ear.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.”

“I’ve been wanting to fuck you like this for days.”

“Feel so much better than in my dreams, baby.”

“Taking that cock so well.”

After several minutes, his hand moved from your throat down to you clit, rubbing fast circles into it. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as his thrusts became harder, hitting that spot inside of you. You were so close. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, you could tell he was close too. He leaned down again, fingers still working your clit, and whispered, “Cum all over my dick, angel.”

You did as you were told, coming with a scream of his name, for a moment not caring if Kie and Sarah heard. Rafe wasn’t far behind you. He suddenly pulled out, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness. He removed the condom from himself and gave a few short stroked before coming across your chest and stomach.

“Fuck,” He whispered, more to himself than you. You heard him walk to the joining bathroom, but didn’t pay much attention. Your eyes were shut tight, trying to catch you breath and come to terms with what just happened. You just fucked Rafe Cameron. Hard. And, if you’re being honest with yourself, it was the best sex you’ve ever had.

Rafe returned with a wet towel, cleaning his cum off of you before collapsing beside you. He pulled back the covers and pulled you into his side under them. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat in his chest. His hand gently played with your hair, a stark contrast to his actions before.

You laid their in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. Eventually, you heard Rafe’s breath even out, quiet snores vibrating through his chest that you found adorable. You untangled yourself from his arm, slipping off the bed to gather your clothes and redress. Sneaking back to Sarah’s room, you hoped neither of the girls had noticed your absence, or heard you screaming Rafe’s name a few rooms down.

The next morning, Rafe woke feeling cold. He turned over to where you had been lying, the nights events running through his head and he hoped that it wasn’t just a dream. But he smiled when he noticed a yellow sticky note on the pillow beside him with a series of numbers and a note in your unique handwriting.

Text me :)

taglist: @bluesiderudy 

[arcwhore]

Trust

{rafe cameron} x {reader}

Request: Rafe cheating at a party. 

description: rafe has a soft spot for his little sisters best friend, and is there when she leaves. who’s gonna be there when he leaves?

warnings: angst, yelling, hitting

word count: 3163

Your heels clicked as you walked up the steps of the Cresswell family manor, tightly holding your clutch in your left hand. Your right hand was clasped around your boyfriend's arm, and you could feel his biceps flex in anticipation.

                                    ≿————-   ❈   ————-≾

Every year at the end of the summer, all the Kooks went out with a bang. You were to wear the most formal attire you could find, and come with the intentions of getting fucked up.

 You had always gone with your best friend, Sarah, but just about a month ago, she started dating a Pogue; who was undeniably handsome, so you were happy for her. 

“As long as you’re happy, Sarah. I will always stand by you,” you had told her. 

She slipped away after that, barely making any time for you, ditching you at Midsummers. She was always with John B, and it hurt, but you knew that she deserved a good relationship, and so did she. You had took that as your que to venture out to new places; find new people. By new people, I mean Sarah’s brother. 

The first night she ditched you, you showed up at her house, clothes soaking wet. Despite the time, you rang the doorbell. When no one answered, you held your finger to the button, hoping there would be some kind of rapid alarm. It was all high tech, so you were just hoping, but really, you were probably just standing there like an idiot. 

After knocking, banging, and ringing the doorbell multiple times, muscly legs descended down the stairs. A tired--and very grumpy--Rafe appeared, walking towards the door all while rubbing his eyes. He saw you through the glass and debated on turning off the light and going back upstairs, but he didn’t want to have to deal with your constant pounding on the door. When he opened the door, you immediately stepped inside. 

“Woah, hey, what the fuck are you doing here?” Rafe complained. He was surprised by your entrance, your clothes clinging to your body and showing off your perfect curves. The light pink shirt you wore was now see through, prompting his eyes to attach themselves to your visible cleavage. 

“Where is Sarah?” You asked him. You figured he probably wouldn’t tell you. That, or he actually didn’t know. 

“How the fuck should I know? Little miss princess is probably hanging out with her pathetic pogue of a boyfriend.” He grumbled, taking a seat on the stairs and staring at you. 

“She ditched me! Left me at home, all by mys fucking self, while she goes out fucking her boyfriend! They’re probably having sex on his shitty bed right now, and shes not even thinking about me!”

“Well, to be fair, if she was thinking about you in the middle of sex that would be a little awkward…” Rafe interrupted. You glared at him, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. “Did you really run all the way over here just to rant to me about my sister?”

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw,” you quoted. “Rafe, do I look like I have fucking teleportation skills? Of course I ran here! My car’s in the shop and Sarah was supposed to come over, but she didn’t and now 2 hours later, here I am, losing my shit because I’m not going to get a project done!” You vented. Rafe gave you a bitchy look, one eyebrow raised and his mouth in a straight line.

 “Come on, Rafe. Help me out here,” you begged. 

“Go home, Y/N,” he got up from his seat on the stairs, stammering towards you. He tried to usher you out the door, but you pushed his hands off. “Y/N…”

“Goddammit, Rafe!” you groaned, stomping out the door. You went out, sitting on the porch. You waited for the rain to die down, waited for some sign that it was going to slow; but it didn’t. 

Rafe watched you from inside, waiting on you to stomp your ass right back through the door, but you didn’t. You sat and stared into the night, watching the water droplets splash as they hit the stone pavement. His chest started to shrink as he watched you, his mind wandering. 

In an abrupt motion, he unlocked the door, pulling you inside. He motioned for you to follow him upstairs, and you crossed your arms reluctantly. You were starting to shiver from the AC, your cold clothes suddenly feeling like an ice bath. 

“Come on, I’ll get you some warm clothes.” you padded up the stairs after him, wondering why he was being so nice to you. You wanted to say something, to ask what the sudden change of heart was, but you knew it would ruin the moment. Your feet left prints on the floor, leading all the way to his bedroom. You watched him as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt-- well, Rafe sized-- and handed it over to you. 

“Bathrooms’ through there,” he nodded. You muttered a thanks before going to get changed. You stripped out of your sopping wet clothes, dropping them onto the floor like a wet mop. Rafe’s clothes were a bit big, but they were so comfortable. You walked back in holding your wet clothes in hand, holding them out to him.

“I didn’t know what you wanted me to do with them,” you said softly. He grabbed them from your hands, walking out of the room. He left you alone again, but this time you didn’t feel lonely. You sprawled out on his bed, taking in a deep breath of the leftover cologne on his sheets. You would have never admitted it, but he smelled amazing; like clean linens and lemon shampoo. The sound of footsteps approached you, but you were already falling into the darkness of sleep. Rafe rustled through his closet, trying to find something to put on the floor as a palette. He laid down, taking a pillow off the bed and shoving it under his head. He had a scowl on his face, upset that you took his bed, but when his eyes drifted to your peaceful figure, the frustration faded. A faint smile took its place, and he closed his eyes, drifting off. 

                                  ≿————-　❈　————-≾

You walked in together, greeted by your friends who, not to your surprise, were already hammered. They giggled at your reaction, as you were trying to mediate their state until you got a little into your system. You let go of Rafe’s arm and headed to the kitchen. He watched you walk away, turning towards one of your mutual friends and starting a conversation. 

                                    ≿————-   ❈   ————-≾

The second time was Midsummers. You came to her house early, getting ready with her. She had told you that you two would dance and drink that night. She said she was sorry and wanted to make up for what she did. You were starting to doubt her more and more with every sentence she told you, but you agreed nonetheless. 

You had a light blue dress with leg slits while she had the same, but in red. You did each others makeup while she blasted music in her bedroom. 

“I’m sorry that I ditched you that night, Y/N. It was stupid... I don’t know what I was thinking skipping out on an opportunity to hang out with you,” Sarah apologized. She powdered your face, looking into your eyes sincerely. All you did was nod and smile, hoping that would suffice. 

“I missed you, Sarah,” you muttered. 

“I know, I miss you too. So damn much,” she put her brush down and gave you a tight hug. You sank into her embrace, allowing yourself a few minutes of peace before chaos. You sighed into her shoulder. 

“Let’s get this party started!” you suddenly screamed, changing the vibe in the room. 

“You bet!” Sarah replied. She walked over to her mirror, and you stood up to look at yourself. “You look beautiful.”

“You look gorgeous,” you smiled with reassurance, stepping into your shoes and heading downstairs. Rafe met you at the bottom wearing a light blue tux. Your eyes locked, and a spark of electricity ran down from your head to your toes. You felt all warm and tingly inside just from looking at him.

“Well look at us! Did you plan this Cameron?” You teased, stepping down to the 2nd bottom step to get to his height. A smile peaked through his lips, and he tried his best to conceal it. 

“Yeah, I definitely snuck into your closet just to see what color dress you were wearing just so I could match with your lazy ass,” he snickered. 

“Oh come on, you don’t gotta be mean, Rafe. We’ve known each other for 8 years, I think it’s time to start warming up.”

“I think we’re pretty warm, considering you slept in my bed the night my sister ditched you,” he struck. You rolled your eyes at his comment, simply just brushing past him. “We were talking, Y/N!”

“We were. Now were not,” you replied briskly, swinging the door to the Cameron household open and strutting out. He stared as you walked out, entangled in your sassy personality. He loved the way you fought with him; so playful, so harmless; but somehow, it always seem to hurt him the most when you walked away. 

You had been searching for Sarah for half an hour, and you were already frustrated. The party had started and people were drinking all around you, and it made it a lot harder to see through whiskey glasses. You grabbed an unattended drink from the bar, downing it in seconds as you walked inside. 

The music muffled inside the corridor, your heels clacking on the granite floors. You began to walk up the stairs, but you heard a deep voice rumble behind you. 

“Can’t find your precious friend?” Rafe asked. You spun around, your face turning red from embarrassment. You shook your head shyly. 

“It’s fine, I knew she would leave me anyway,” you shrugged your shoulders. He scoffed, looking at you with his pupils blown. “Don’t look at me like that, dumbass.” 

You averted your gaze, but it felt as if your eyes had magnets in them, and Rafe’s were the only other ones that could lock them in place. You felt your body start to heat up as he stared at you, and your sure that your eyes were starting to get wider. You felt his hand trace up your arm, the other grabbing your waist. You let out a small gasp, trying not to show him that you were too vulnerable. His hand reached your neck, reaching around the back of it and slowly pulling you in. He stopped right when your lips were centimeters apart, waiting for you to close the gap. 

You connected your lips with his, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you. His arm snuck around your waist and pulled your hips until they bumped into his. His lips glided on top of yours so gently, not at all like what you were expecting from him. Both of your minds were wandering, but someone clearing their throat ruined the mood. You pulled away from each other, checking in the direction of the noise. Ward stood there with a smirk on his face.

“If you’re gonna kiss, go do it in private,” he winked, passing by and heading to the bathroom. He turned to look at you, giving you the ‘I’m watching you’ motion, and you giggled. You turned back to Rafe.

“What do you say we take this somewhere more private, good sir?” You joked.

“Of course M’Lady,” he smiled. 

                                   ≿————-　❈　————-≾

The smell of alcohol and weed was smothering, but you were trying to do anything to take the edge off. You had been looking forward to this party all day, and the fight with your parents early this morning didn’t help but fuel you more. You grabbed the closest bottle and took it straight, bringing it to your lips and feeling your body warm up. You kicked around the balloons that floated on the ground as you drank, swallowing swig after swig. You set down the bottle and took off your shoes, putting them on the pile in the corner before you saw Rafe headed towards you. You reached out your hands for him and screamed, “Let’s dance!” 

You dragged him out on the floor, backing up against him and grinding. He had his hands on your hips, swaying you, but he wasn’t holding you like he usually did. You spun around, trying to meet his gaze. When you turned, his eyes were preoccupied, but they snapped back to you before you could see what he was looking at. 

“What’s wrong?” Your head titled to the side in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. He shook his head.

“Nothing, sorry.”

“You sure? Cause I can get out way for you,” you retorted, rolling your eyes. You threw up your hands, exasperated, and walked to the kitchen again. He didn’t even try to follow you. You grabbed a pre-roll off the counter, pulling out the lighter in your bra. You inhaled, letting the smoke fill your lungs. Exhaling through your nose, your eyes closed and you allowed the beat of the music to flow through you. You started to sway your hips again, bringing your arms up in response. You moved towards the party again, joint still in hand. You moved through the overcrowded living room of sweaty teenagers, searching for your tree of a boyfriend. You took another drag, blowing the smoke in some strangers’ face. You couldn’t help but laugh when she made a disgusting face at you. 

The anger in your bones started to shake you when you couldn’t find Rafe. “I know damn well...”

Your thought process kicked in when you stepped out of the crowd. You stomped up the stairs, opening every door that was unlocked. You walked in on a few couples but left too quick to say sorry. You opened one door, and it was pitch black. You heard the bed stop squeaking when you entered. You flipped on the light, trying your best to make out the figures on the bed. It was a good idea, fucking a girl behind your back, but doing it in the dark so you would never suspect a thing, right? Wrong. 

“Rafe?” You shrieked, eyes settling on the half naked figure staring at you with wide eyes. You could hear the girl under him whisper to him. You smirked and advanced towards them. 

“Who is it, Rafe?” The girl asked. He stuttered, trying to find his words. He fully stood, trying to stop you from getting any closer.

“Yeah, who is it, Rafe? Who-” you pushed him back, “fucking is it?”

“Y/N, chill out,” he mediated. You laughed, looking over at the bed. 

“This bitch? Come on, if you’re gonna cheat on me, cheat on me with someone who’s prettier than me. It’s the least you can do!”

“I-I didn’t realize he had-” you interrupted the ginger.

“You, shut the fuck up and get out,” you yelled. She scrambled for her clothes, running out into the hallway with only her underwear on. You glared at him, waiting for a response. “Come on, say it big boy.”

“Y/N...” you raised your eyebrows, tilting your head in inquisitively. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, that’s all you got to say, huh?” He stayed silent. “You’re un-fucking-believable. I mean, who thought; Rafe Cameron actually being struck speechless? Bullshit!”

“Y/N, it was a mistake, I don’t know what came over me,” he apologized. His eyes were pleading, trying desperately for you to listen to him. You gestured for him to continue. “I love you, but I don’t...”

“You don’t what Rafe?” you asked. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, Y/N!” You looked at him for a minute, trying to see if he was serious or not. His face never faltered, and you broke out into a smile. You were laughing so hard, trying not to break out crying in the process. He kept his gaze on you, his face full of confusion from your reaction. 

“You’re full of shit, Cameron! Just like the rest of your family!”

“Y/N, do we have to do this here?” Rafe pointed of the gatherings of people outside the door. 

“Do we have to- you dumb fuck!” you punched his bare chest. “Did you have to,” hit, “fuck,” hit, “that girl,” slap to the face, “here?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Rafe Cameron,” you turned and started walking out the door, the tears finally spilling from your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whimpered.

“Fuck you.”

                                  ≿————-　❈　————-≾

Cuddled up in your bed reading a book, you were interrupted by a knock on your door. “Y/N, baby, you have a visitor.”

“Who is it?” you heard feet scurrying at the door.

“It’s Sarah,” the sweet voice spoke. 

“Go away, Sarah,” you grumbled, stuffing your face in a pillow. You heard the door open and close and you rolled over on your back. 

“What do you want?” You asked harshly. She sat on the edge of the bed slowly, trying not to overstep her boundaries. 

“Look, I just wanted to say that Rafe’s been a total wreck without you the past few days-”

“Let me stop you right there; if you came over here to try to convince me to get back together with that douchebag, then you can go ahead and leave.” You sighed, throwing your head back. “I don’t wanna hear anything else about him.”

“No, God, no. I think he needed to feel some pain, kick his ass into line. I just wanted you to know how miserable you made him.”

“He made himself miserable,” you sat up, looking at her eyes for the first time in weeks. You missed the delicate features that you used to see every day. 

“I know, sorry. I’m just sorry that he did that to you, and I just feel like it’s my fault.”

“Honestly, it mostly is. You ditched me and he gave me comfort. It was just my stupid decision that led me to fall for him.”

“Well, didn’t expect the guilt trip today, but I guess I deserve that,” she chuckled. “Can we please start over? I’m so sorry for all the shit I did to you, and I’m sorry about how it all ended up. I miss my best friend.”

She gave you the pouty face which she knew you could resist. You thought about it for a few seconds before agreeing. 

“Fine, but don’t expect me to get along with your brother.” She squealed and clapped her hands together, giving you a caste kiss on the cheek. 

You looked at her and smiled.

“I fucking missed you.”

my masterlist

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Can you save me from this nothing I've become?

Pairing: Kook!JJ x Pogue!Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: Life Swap AU. JJ grew up as a sheltered boy in a golden cage in Figure Eight and doesn’t even have a clue how life in the Cut is like. That is until he meets you, the perfect example for life in an abusive household drowning in poverty. 

Warnings: A little bit of sadness, mentions of abuse, mostly fluffy tho

Available on: AO3

A/N: @outabanks​ asked me to write this for her so I tried. It’s a little different from anything else I’ve written so far and it was quite hard to find a tone for JJ now that he didn’t grow up in a physical abusive home and probably wouldn’t react with so much violence. I went with him feeling trapped, lonely and just sad inside due to him more suffering from emotional abuse. Also, switching POVs! Have fun!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes, Charlotte, I make sure to pick out my best outfit.” JJ groaned at his stepmother and went to his own bathroom to take a shower.

She was really annoying sometimes but after his mother and father divorced, he had been quick to replace her to maintain the image, dragging his mother’s name through mud in the process.

Figure Eight was a place where you grew up comfortably and never had to worry about a thing, at least on the outside.

JJ had grown up as the typical rich kid, getting everything he wanted. Problem was, he had been showered with money, not love, meaning he was missing what was most important. Back when his mother was still here, she had been the only person to show him what life really meant but she hadn’t been around for too long. Actually, he never got to know why she had left.

When Charlotte had married his father, it got even worse. Money here, fancy clothes there. She had never been a mother to him, she also never even tried as she wasn’t interested in him and only the money his dad had.

Whatever, he didn’t care about her either, he just wished she would leave him in peace once in a while but whenever he planned to go outside and do something she always came running and told him how to dress so he would look the best.

Tomorrow was another charity event and she had been stressing about the right clothes for weeks and he wouldn’t have any of it.

JJ got out of the shower with a sigh, towel around his waist and hair still dripping a little on the floor beneath him. He knew he had a good life, technically but sometimes he wondered how it felt to be a normal kid, growing up downtown or the Cut. He had never been down there actually, only heard that people from the Cut were poor but in comparison to the people from Figure Eight, poor couldn’t be too bad, right?

The reason he had never been down there was his father. He might look like the perfect father on the outside but on the inside, he was rotting away, fueled by his addiction for money and a wealthy lifestyle. One wrong step and JJ would suffer, in either emotional and very rarely physical way.

He was trapped in a golden cage he couldn’t escape until he was old enough which would still take a few more years. He just had to hold on, pretend to like his life when they were in public and just be done with it.

“We’re off then, son. See you tomorrow!” his father yelled from downstairs as JJ got dressed in some loser clothes so he could enjoy his time home alone.

“Yeah, have fun,” he said nonchalantly, not really caring about them leaving to visit the Cameron’s to talk about some preparations for tomorrow.

When he heard the front door shut he let out a sigh of relief and lay down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. They wouldn’t be back until past midnight, that’s always how it went.

It was the perfect time to think about how lonely he actually was. His parents divorced, his mother not even calling or writing him, his dad only caring about money and his new wife. Friends? Sadly none. Kook Academy wasn’t the place where he wanted to be and he had a hard time blending in. It was a place where everyone was so narcissistic and wanted to show off all they had. Also really competitive people. Who had the bigger car, who had the more expensive outfit, things like that.

The only person he rarely talked to at events was Kiara, a wealthy girl from the neighborhood next to his own. He heard that she was hanging around with the Pogues in the Cut but he never asked her about it. They mostly just saw each other, nodded briefly and started drinking together. He listened to her rambling about saving turtles in a drunken state later on while he made flirty comments she always shut down very quickly. It was a simple way to pass the time while trying to get through the evening.

His father told him to befriend the Cameron’s but to be honest? No. Wheezie was just a little girl, Sarah was the princess around here and he had no desire to walk around with royalty and get judged by only that. Rafe was a dick, he had actually tried to befriend him when they were younger but that boy had massive issues.

So yep, loneliness it was. On the outside, his life was perfect but on the inside he was struggling. One day he would escape, go to the mainland and do his own thing. He wanted to get far away from Outer Banks and his father, all these riches he had. There was enough money on his own bank account to help him get started but JJ wanted to work with his own hands, get dirty, live the life he wanted.

Suddenly he heard a crash in the front yard and he shot up from his bed, opening the door to his balcony and looked outside, trying to see something in the darkness. It took a moment for his eyes to get used to the missing light before he scanned the garden. A vase was shattered to the left and to the right…

Shit!

Someone was face down in their pool and it looked like they weren’t moving.

JJ rushed downstairs and to the garden, quickly jumping in to get the person out. He put the body down next to the pool, slapping the cheek slightly. Luckily enough he had been quick enough and the person was waking up, spitting out a little bit of water.

“I don't think it’s the best time to take a swim,” he said while he sat there on his knees, looking over at the girl that couldn’t be older than he was.

She wasn’t answering, just looking at him for a moment before closing her eyes again, passing out once more.

    When you woke up, you had no idea where you were. The bed under you felt softer than your own and you had a huge headache. Also, you were wearing comfortable clothes for some reason. Still a dream? Maybe.

You slowly opened your eyes, afraid that feeling of warmth would be gone now but it didn’t vanish. As you were looking around you noticed a boy on the ground, wrapped in a blanket and you blinked. 

Looking down at your body told you that you were totally not wearing your own clothes. These were really fine and soft, it almost felt like they were giving you a warm hug.

It took awhile for you to connect the dots but then your face turned white. The boy on the ground had seen you naked.

“Perv!” you suddenly yelled and threw the pillow behind you at him which caused him to stir.

“What the fuck,” he mumbled and got up and for the first time, you got a good look at these blue eyes and the messy, blonde bed hair. “This is what I get for saving your ass?”

Saving your ass? You frowned and now that you thought about it, you had no idea what had happened last night after you ran away from home. You knew you had been drinking to try and stop the pain but then it all went black.

“What do you mean?” you asked and tilted your head a little to the side like a lost puppy.

“Apparently you were either really fond of having a swim or trying to drown yourself in my pool,” he said while he got up, stretching and showing off his body to you. Of course he was not wearing a shirt, why would he. It was too hot for that anyway. He was too hot. Shit, focus!

“I wasn’t drowning myself,” you said even though you wished that had worked.

Silence fell over you for a moment while he just stood there, looking at your miserable form before he rubbed the back of his neck and looked clearly uncomfortable.

“Look, I’ve seen the bruises…,” he started and you looked back at him, clenching your jaw. Of course he had seen the bruises, he had seen you naked and they were quite visible all over your body.

“It’s nothing. Where are my clothes? I want to leave.” You didn’t want to stay here and talk to a stranger that apparently saved you from drowning. Oh. That was probably why you were wearing different clothes, he had taken care of them so you wouldn’t get a cold. Well, not exactly the first thought you had but thank god you still had your virginity.

“Do you need help?” he asked softly and crouched in front the bed which caused you to frown. No one had ever asked you that. It took a long moment before you shook your head.

“No, I’ll be fine.” You nodded and got out of bed which made him stand up again. He was taller than you were and you bit your bottom lip while looking around in his room some more. This was clearly not the Cut. This looked like a Figure Eight house. Oh god, had you wandered that far?

“Can I make you breakfast at least? My parents are still asleep,” he said and you chewed on your lip a little before you nodded. Your stomach was dying inside as you hadn't eaten in two days because your aunt prefered to let you starve while she spent all her money on alcohol and drugs. You wished your parents were still alive but that wasn’t an option.

“Alright, wait here, I’ll bring you some up.” With that he was already gone and you went back under the soft blanket. If you would stand up more your head was probably going to explode and you would fall due to it’s spinning non stop. Laying down was good. Sitting upright a little was good too.

You had never seen this boy before which wasn’t a surprise given that you had been to Figure Eight only one or two times with Kiara. The Pogues were the only reason to get out of bed in the morning but currently, they were all doing their own thing which was fine but also made you sad a little.

The blonde boy was up quicker than you thought and he put the tray down on your legs with a smile.

“I’m JJ, by the way,” he said as he grabbed the chair from his desk and rolled it over, taking one of the plates from the try to put some food on it.

You blinked at all the food in front of you and you were sure you hadn’t seen that many at once, at least not something you were allowed to eat. Bread buns, scrambled egg, different kinds of sausages and grapes. He must have noticed how skinny you were.

“I’m (y/n),” you simply said while staring at the food, not even sure if you could eat but when you looked at him eating and he smiled at you, you couldn’t stop yourself.

It was a feast for you. Did he always have breakfasts like that? God, what a lucky person.

“Nice to meet you, (y/n). Wanna tell me now why you were swimming in my pool at midnight?” he asked and grinned a little. He wanted to get details but he didn’t want to completely ruin the mood, something you could appreciate.

You didn’t know him and you weren’t easily trusting a person but he saved you, made you breakfast and you would probably never see him again, so you kinda owed him, right? Also he had already seen the bruises and given all the books he had in his room, he seemed to be a smart boy that had figured it all out on his own already.

“I was trying to get away from life,” you mumbled with your mouth full and he raised an eyebrow at that. “Got beat up, didn’t eat for two days, ran away to drink the pain away and then it went all black but it seems like I wanted to get a look at a life I’ll never have and then I somehow ended up in your pool. I wasn’t trying to drown myself, I promise.”

Well, the mood he had been trying to maintain was totally ruined by your words now. You spoke them so casually like they were no big deal but you saw how his eyes widened and he stopped eating while you still continued. Yes, your life was pure shit but it would be okay one day. One day you’d get out of your aunt’s death grip and get the life you deserved.

“I-,” he started but didn’t seem to be able to finish so you waved off. 

“It’s fine. It happens. Something you can’t understand, no offense.” He was living a good life full of privileges and riches, of course he wouldn’t understand what you went through and that was okay. You didn’t want his pity, he didn’t seem to care about people at the Cut anyway. 

“I might not understand your life but you obviously don’t understand my life either,” he chuckled and took some grapes to eat. You raised both eyebrows at him, what did he mean? Apparently he could read the face you were making and continued. “Life here isn’t all that great either. I may not suffer from a lot of physical abuse but emotional one. Being rich isn’t always good, ya know.”

“I’d kill for being rich,” you blurted out and it made him laugh. He had a beautiful laugh but it also sounded really sad for some reason.

“Yeah, that’s probably how a lot of people here became rich.” That made you laugh too, he was probably right. You knew a few Kooks that looked like they had killed for their wealth.

You both ate in silence and when you were done, he put the tray away to look at you with a look that you couldn’t quite place.

“Where are my clothes?” you asked to break the stare and he nodded.

“I’ll get them, one second,” he said and walked over into a room which was...his bathroom? God, he even had his own bathroom. What the fuck.

JJ came out with them again and they looked so much cleaner than before. “Did you wash them?” you asked because it didn’t look like it was just the pool water.

“Yeah, they looked like they needed it,” he said and put them over the bed. When you grabbed them you felt how soft they were now after the cleaning and you smiled a little to yourself. They also smelled really good.

You got out of the bed and pressed past him into the bathroom so you could get changed. When you came out of it again you felt old and new at the same time. Thankfully, the headache was slowly fading away.

“Alright, thanks for saving me, I’ll be off then,” you exclaimed as you had occupied him enough now. He already knew more about you than a stranger should and you had to get out of here before he tried to play your savior.

You had already a hand at the doorknob when he reached out to you, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. Of course he had to do that.

“I know this isn’t any of my business but if you ever need help, come here, okay? I’ll try my best,” he said and normally you would huff at such an offer as you had been disappointed so many times in your life but for some reason, he sounded so absolutely genuine that you nodded. You believed him but you also had no desire to get back here any time soon. Figure Eight wasn’t the place you wanted to be, it only reminded you of what could have been but wasn’t.

“Thanks,” you mumbled and he let go of you.

    Two weeks had passed and he couldn’t get the girl out of his head. There had been something that made him want to save her even though she seemed to be the kind of girl that didn’t want saving. 

Something deep inside of him was screaming at him to find you and that’s exactly what he did right now. His father would kill him but he didn’t care anymore. It was like there was a strange bond that was pulling him closer to you and away from the life he didn’t want.

The Cut was different than he had expected. During his sheltered life, downtown had been the only area he had visited, it was almost like an invisible wall that his father had placed here, not allowing him to go any further. As a kid he had been curious about it but after a while of useless attempts to convince his father he had given up on getting to know the rest of the island.

He couldn’t say why he didn’t try again now that he was older. Maybe he really wasn’t interested anymore after all those years. Maybe it was his father’s voice that was echoing in his head the closer he got to that invisible wall.

Until he broke through it. He drove past that magical line that had kept him and suddenly he saw what was really going on. They weren’t just a little less fortunate than the people from Figure Eight. His dad had lied to him and he felt sick for a moment.

He drove past small shacks, some looking like they would get blown away by the next storm. They were just poor and lived in poverty. Well, maybe not all of them but the further he drove away from the downtown area the more sad and wild it looked around him. There was also a strange feeling of freedom to it, he couldn’t really describe it.

Figure Eight was all beautiful houses and big mansions, perfectly cut grass, cars and pools. Everything had to be perfect but this? Lots of people didn’t care about their grass, he saw some old cars and trucks, some people had a small boat but nothing compared to the yacht his father owned. It was so different and he hated himself for never coming here. When did he become such an ignorant person?

Something suddenly jumped out of the bushes to the right and he hit the breaks, barely stopping in front of the person who was standing right in front of his car, looking straight at him.

“What the fuck?!” the girl yelled and he would always recognize that voice, it had almost burned into his soul. She was so different from everything he knew. Looks like the string that was pulling him had reached its destination.

    Great, now some idiot tried to run you over while you were busy running away from Barry. This couldn’t get any worse. You were about to keep running when you saw who got out of the car. It was the blonde pretty boy with the sad eyes from Figure Eight that you kept dreaming about for the last two weeks. A wink of destiny? Either way, it looked like he was your escape.

JJ got out of the car and smiled at you, slowly coming over to you, probably wanting to make sure you were okay but he barely scraped you. 

“JJ?” you asked in disbelief and he chuckled a little. It was weird to see him here, out of place, so far away from home.

“If I wouldn’t know any better I’d say you tried to get him by a car this time,” he said and laughed when he saw you glare. You really didn’t have time for this bullshit. Yes, being dead would be better sometimes given your circumstances but right now you’d prefer to prevent that.

You threw a look behind you and then back at him. “In the car,” you hissed and shoved him back to his side of the car while you got in on the other side.

“Drive,” you said and looked out to the right side where you had been coming from but he looked at you confused.

Barry came out of the bushes and you turned around to JJ in a split second, pressing your lips against his, hoping to make Barry think that it was just a rich couple that came down here to make out. He wasn’t the brightest candle on the cake after all.

When you saw him leave out of the corner of your eye you sighed into the kiss but only slowly moved away. JJ’s lips felt good, pressed against yours like it was the only thing he had ever wanted.

Reality hit and you pulled back, swallowing slightly. “Sorry uhm...just needed to distract that guy,” you mumbled and licked your lips, still tasting him.

“What was that about?” he asked and seemed a little dumbfounded by the sudden kiss.

“I was running from our local drug dealer,” you explained like it was the most normal thing to do. Maybe you had stolen him some money but you only wanted food and you knew where he stored it so you might as well just borrow it. For a very long time.

“You could have just hidden on the backseat, you know,” he teased and wiggled his eyebrows which caused you to slap him slightly against the shoulder.

“It was a distraction kiss, nothing else. Don’t let it get to your head,” you said ang took a deep breath when you felt your body relax.

“What now? Any place I can drive you to?” he suddenly asked and you looked over at him, thinking for a moment. You’d be safe with John B and the others as you wanted to meet up later anyway. You nodded and gave him some quick directions.

“So, what are you doing here?” you asked and watched him drive. He had such a pretty face if those eyes wouldn’t be so sad. You wondered why he was like that, he had everything you could wish for and yet, he was still so sad.

“Actually, I was looking for you. I also had never been down to the Cut, my father always keeping me from it so I wanted to take a look.” His voice was so smooth and you had the urge to just press your lips against his once more.

What the fuck was going on in your head? God, that needed to stop, he was a Kook after all. No good came from them.

“Why were you looking for me?” It was beyond you why he would come here only to find you. You were just some girl he had saved from her own stupidity. On the other hand, you couldn’t deny that you hoped to see him again shortly after you had left his place back then. There had been something about him that was pulling you closer and those dreams you had weren’t for nothing. He was special in a way you couldn’t describe just yet.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I just had the feeling I had to,” he said and it confirmed your feelings. He also didn’t really know what he was doing here, just like you didn’t know why you wanted him here.

It was a strange connection that had formed within a couple of hours two weeks ago, a connection that didn’t break. Normally people meet other people, establish some kind of relationship between them. Acquaintances, friends, work colleagues, stuff like that. Sometimes you just meet a stranger, talk to them and then break the connection off.

That’s what you thought this would be but the connection was still there, it was deep in your bones and your mind.

Stupid Kook, about to turn your world around.

You arrived at the Chateau where John B was already coming over before JJ could turn the motor off. He obviously wasn’t used to such cars arriving at his place, that’s why you got out first.

“It’s me!” you yelled and JB visibly relaxed before taking another look at the car and the boy coming out of there.

“Who’s that?” he asked and frowned at you but you just waved off. 

“That’s JJ. He saved me, two times to be exact. He’s cool.” You waved JJ over and he followed you step to John B. You gave him a quick hug and then saw how JJ held out his hand.

You glared at John B and he groaned slightly before shaking JJ’s hand.

“I don’t know why you’d bring a Kook here,” he grumbled and you hit his arm slightly.

“I told you, he is cool. He’s pool boy.” You might have mentioned that accident to your friends without any names or mentioning that your blonde savior was a Kook. Oops.

“Pool boy?” a female voice said while coming out of the house and you waved at Kie.

“Kiara?” JJ suddenly said and looked over at her, watching how she stopped in her tracks. You looked between the two of them forth and back.

“JJ?” Yup, they totally knew each other.

“Donkey?” you threw in and laughed a little at your Shrek reference, causing the others to laugh too.

“You know each other?” John B said in choir and the both nodded.

“Yeah, he’s the guy that keeps me grounded at all the Kook events. We drink and make it through the night somehow. He’s cool,” Kiara explained and JJ nodded in agreement.

“See, told you,” you teased John B and he just rolled your eyes. He sometimes acted like a big brother when he wasn’t drowning in his own shit.

“Are you staying? I know what it feels like to be a Kook, so I might as well show you my escape”, Kiara said and JJ rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

You laughed a little because he seemed so out of place right now but you could tell he probably needs an escape from life once in a while.

“Okay, show me,” JJ said and you grinned at him. It was a reckless thing to do, taking a Kook in but technically, Kiara was one too and if she and JJ got along, he would also get along with Pope and John B. It might just take a while but it would be okay.

There was this feeling inside of you that was telling you to help him, to make his eyes look sad and to hear a genuine laugh from him.

[shawnssongs]

A New Start

pairing: topper thornton x reader

wc: 1478

warnings: unedited, mention of parental disappointment

summary: topper is a mess after sarah goes missing, and the reader wants to help him out despite protests from JJ

masterlist

gif from @water-aesthetics

“That was weak!” JJ mocked as the two of you made your way back up the beach from a rather unsuccessful session of surfing. Well, unsuccessful on your part.

“Shut up, JJ.” You joke, punching him lightly on the arm, causing him to laugh.

“You know, you really gotta get better at that now that John B’s gone.”

You gulped at the mention of your friend. Gone. Missing. Maybe dead. The fact that you weren’t sure is what killed you. You friends could be alive and having the time of their lives down in Mexico like they’d planned, they could be stranded in the middle of the ocean with no food or water, they could be lost at sea. There was no way of knowing.

“I was just distracted,” you mumble, your thoughts upsetting you a bit.

JJ quirks his eyebrow. “Distracted by what?”

You turn slightly, your best friend following your gaze to a certain blond boy, sat in the sand with his knees bent in front of him, staring out to sea. He was wearing a pair of board shorts and a dirty looking tee shirt, sunglasses covering the bags under his eyes. He’d been there since you and JJ had arrived, and he only ever moved to lift the bottle concealed in a brown paper bag up to his mouth for a swig.

JJ scoffs. “Topper distracted you? He’s been sitting there like a statue, drunk off his ass for days.”

You just roll your eyes and help JJ tie your boards to the top of the Volkswagen which he’d inherited when John B left.

“Chateau or your place?” JJ asked. He’d been staying at your house often, your parents being gracious enough to offer him as much food as they could spare. He hadn’t even tried to go back home after taking the phantom other than the one time he went to pack clothes, but he made sure his dad wasn’t home first. When JJ wasn’t at yours, he spent his time at the Chateau.

“Um, my mom’s cooking, so you can head to mine. I’ll meet you there.”

You start to turn but JJ stops you. “Wait meet me? You’re going back?”

You nodded your head. “JJ, he lost someone he loved too. And he has no one.”

“Oh please.” JJ countered. “He’s the king of the kooks. He has everyone.”

You shook your head at JJ’s ignorance. “He can’t talk to his mom. He can’t talk to Kelce. He can’t talk to Rafe.” Kelce didn’t understand the feeling, and Topper lost someone he loved, but Rafe lost his sister. He couldn’t talk to them.

“Rafe fucking caused it-”

“JJ,” you warn. Every time JJ let his mind wander to the kook, he’d let himself get mad. You’ve spent a few different nights trying to clean up the messes JJ made in the Chateau from his outbursts, punching walls and kicking things. If he didn’t already hate Rafe, he sure did now.

“Look, Jay, just go home. I’ll meet you there.”

JJ shook his head, still disagreeing with what you were about to do, but he obliged and let you go.

When you could no longer hear the hum of the engine, you padded through the sand toward’s Topper’s form. Not a muscle moved in his body as you sat down next to him in the sand, and if you couldn’t see that his eyes were open behind his sunglasses from the angle you were at, you probably would’ve thought he’d fallen asleep.

You sat there for a few minutes, staring out to sea like Topper. You weren’t sure what to say, but you wanted to keep him company.

After taking a sip of whatever alcohol he had in that paper bag, he reached his hand across his body, offering the bottle to you.

You shake your head, “I’m good,” so Topper shrugs and takes it for himself once again.

“How are you?” You ask, cringing at the words.

Surprisingly, he answers you. “Upset.” Pause. “Lonely.” You give him time to continue, but just as you were about to speak, he adds on one more. “Angry.”

You nod.

“Why are you here?” He asked, finally turning to face you.

You shrug. “You looked like you needed someone.”

“I don’t.”

“Topper, I know what you’re feeling. I’ve known John B since I was born. He was practically my brother.”

“Y’know, it doesn’t even hurt that it was John B.” Topper spoke quickly, interrupting your story and catching you off guard.

“What?” You asked, eyes wide.

“Sarah. It doesn’t bother me that she left me for John B.” He clarified.

“So what is it?”

“I loved her and she didn’t love me back, and I was an asshole about it because I knew. I knew I couldn’t hold on to her. Now she’s...” He trailed off, turning to face the horizon once again.

“John B was my first love.”

Topper scoffed at your confession.

“Hear me out, Top. I used to have the biggest crush on him. I followed him everywhere, did everything he did in hopes for that small chance he’d like me back.” You chuckle at yourself. “It lasted years.”

Topper turns to you and you can tell he waiting for the point of your story.

“And then I got over it.”

“How?”

“Because it wasn’t really love. It was infatuation.”

“How do you know the difference?”

“You don’t.” You shake your head, trying to look into Topper’s eyes, but staring right back into your own through the reflection of his sunglasses. “Not until it’s over.”

“Well things are pretty over between me and Sarah,” he sneered.

“Yeah, but your feelings for her aren’t. They will be, Top. Trust me.”

Topper didn’t respond and the two of you sat in silence, yet again. When your eyes drifted from the horizon to the dirty blond next to you, you couldn’t help but see Topper in a different light. He had been horrible to you and your friends, but he was just like you. He was just like JJ. He was a teenager that felt too much, gave into peer pressure too easily because he had no confidence in himself. Here he was, contemplating everything because he didn’t know who he was without Sarah or Rafe. He just needed time to find himself.

Topper could feel your eyes on him, so when you looked away, he would take the chance to watch you. The two of you had never been friends. He was horrible to you and the pogues, so why were you here? Why did you seem to care about him? The longer he sat there, the more he studied you. You were tanned from the sun, freckles adorning your skin. Your hair was mostly dry now, wavy and tangled since you hadn’t gotten a chance to brush it after surfing. Topper had noticed that too. He’d deny it, but he’d been watching you surf all day. Something about you was so intriguing to him. He found himself regretting all his choices in the past. He wasn’t a good guy, just like his mom would always say to him, and he wanted to fix that.

After a little while longer, Topper stood up, reaching his hand out to you.

You took it with pleasure and let him help you up out of the sand.

“Do you want to um, get something to eat?” He asked, his voice unsteady.

You give a soft smile to the boy in front of you before answering. “Um, I would...”

Of course, Topper thought to himself. You were just being kind, you couldn’t really car—

“but my mom is cooking,” you continued. “I have to get home.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I do want to, though.” You assured, placing your hand on Topper’s arm.

He hadn’t realized it, but Topper hadn’t felt any sort of human contact, any touch in days and your soft skin sent tingles throughout his body.

“Yeah?”

You nod. “Yeah. I’d um, I would invite you over but JJ’s there...” you trailed off. Topper would get the gist.

“No, I get it. If I were JJ, I wouldn’t want to see me either.”

You smile at the boy, finally removing your hand from his arm. “Bye, Top.”

He was about to let you go, but there was something left unsaid. “Wait!” He stopped you, this time him being the one to grip your arm. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Thank you.” You accept his apology. You could tell it was genuine. You’d usually say there’s no reason to be sorry, but in Topper’s case, there was.

Topper knew he should let you go, but for some reason he couldn’t. “Do you, uh. I know I can’t be there but, can I walk you home?”

You couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

part 2?

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[obxlife]

Slipping In (JJ x Fem!Reader) PT.2

A/N: Okay so apparently pt. 1 did really good so here is part two

Pairing: JJ x Fem!Reader

Summary: After John B reveals that he knows where the gold is, he makes JJ and you slip into Midsummers to round up the Pogues and give Sarah a note. 

PART 1

SLIPPING IN PT. 2

John B tugged the Pogue onto the beach that was surrounding the country club as you and JJ pushed it from behind. You grabbed your bags and shoes from inside the boat before turning to the boys.

“Ready?” you asked them as you began walking up the beach. 

Your backpack held the dress you were going to be wearing to slip into the party. It had been a hassle retrieving it from your house, as you had to steal it from your mom’s closet while she was passed out three feet away from you on her bed. 

It was the only dress you had ever seen her wear, and the only dress that had ever been in your house. God knew you didn’t have money to buy an actual dress for yourself. 

In John B’s backpack, there were clothes for JJ. A button-up collared dress shirt, a bowtie, and a waiter’s jacket. 

“Can you believe this Midsummer shit, guys?” John B asked as he looked up towards the lights and flowers that were hanging from the decorations on the country club’s garden. 

“Of course I can,” replied JJ, shrugging his shoulders. “Happens every year. No matter how screwed up the rest of us are.”

You frowned and then asked, “So, like, what’s the plan, exactly?”

John B pulled something out from his pocket. A piece of paper. “Okay, look,” he said to JJ. “I need you to get this to Sarah.”

Your eyebrows shot up at this. Sarah? Sarah Cameron? That was new.

“ And you, Y/N, need to keep an eye on him,” John B stated pointing at the blond boy on this other side.  This made you laugh.

“Ooh! Can I read it?” JJ asked taking the paper from John B’s hand and ignoring the fact that you thought it was funny to babysit him.

“JJ, that is an invasion of privacy!” you exclaimed as he opened the letter.

“No, you can’t read it,” John B tried to say before JJ had taken a look at the message.

“Who’s Vlad?” JJ said once he had scanned the note. 

“God, do you ever listen?” you asked as the three of you kept strutting up the beach. 

“Hold up,” JJ says, “Are you macking Sarah Cameron?”

You stifled a laugh before saying, “I was actually about to ask the same thing.”

Both you and JJ turned towards the long-haired boy, waiting for his response. 

“Would you guys shut up?” John B nearly shouted in an exasperated tone. 

“Oh my God.” you said as JJ confirmed what you were both thinking, “You’re macking Sarah Cameron!”

“Oh, Kie is not going to be happy with you, bubba,” you pointed out to the brunett.

“All right, guys. I’m doing it for everybody, all right?”

You and JJ shared a look before you quietly muttered, “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

At this JJ laughed before turning towards his best friend again. 

“What?” John B said while looking back at the both of you. You shook your head along with the blond, as John B kept looking at both of you, expecting you guys to say something. 

“Nothing,” you said.

“Yeah, thanks for being a team player, bro,” JJ agreed.

Now that you three were closer to the country club you all stopped and dropped your bags, taking out the clothes you would be needing. 

“Turn around,” you ordered to the boys as you began to try and slip on your mother’s dress. 

The boys followed your orders, JJ pulling on his shirt while John B reached forward and tied the bow tie around his neck. 

“So, I just give that to Sarah, huh?” you heard as you took off your shirt and passed the dress over your head. Once it was on, you removed your shorts from underneath the skirt. 

As you smoothed the skirt down and took your heels out of you bag, you heard John B confirm JJ’s doubts. “Yes, just give it to Sarah. Hold steady.”

Placing both of your heels on, you looked down at yourself. My bikini top makes the dress look weird. You swiftly took it off from under the dress and threw it on the ground. 

Both boys caught sight of your top and gulped. 

You didn’t know this, but the boys had found you hot ever since you started growing your boobs out in the seventh grade. Both of them had a thing for you, and given the chance, they would, without a doubt, take the chance to mack on you. 

But rules were rules, and no Pogue on Pogue macking was allowed. This rule was essential to maintain your friendship. 

JJ especially hated that rule. All he had wanted to do since he had noticed that he had feelings for you (as in more than a friendly way) was mack on you. The thought of you kept him up through many lonely nights where he only had his hand to keep him company, and the many nights he would hook up with Tourons to get you out of his head. 

However, he knew that he would never have it in himself to actually come between the bond that the three of you had. The original Pogues. His family. That was a lot more important than macking on you and potentially risk losing his family. Besides, he knew almost for certain that you were not interested in him. 

This did not stop JJ from flirting with you. He flirted with everyone, as that was just his personality, but he flirted with you especially. Kie had noticed this but ignored it due to the fact that she assumed it was part of your special ‘original three Pogues’ bond. You had always denied any advances he had made towards you, as you just classified them as harmless flirting, and JJ knew that not taking his flirting further was the right thing to do because of the rule.

So, for now, JJ was happy imagining on those long nights that he was accompanied by his hand or imagining that the Touron that was blowing him was actually you. 

“Vlad,” JJ suddenly said to keep his thoughts from wandering away with your discarded bikini top. “Really?”

You turned around. “I’m done.”

However, before the boys could turn to look at you, John B pulled out JJ’s gun from the blond’s backpack. “Are you kidding me?”

“JJ!” you exclaimed in shock. “What the hell?”

“No, I’m not kidding you,” he began to explain as he adjusted his collar. Before he could continue, John B said, “If you get caught, you’re going to jail.”

You scoffed. As if JJ was afraid of going to jail. You knew JJ was more afraid of his dad pulling him out of jail.

“Fine,” JJ said, keeping his eyes at level with John B’s as he threw his hat on the ground for the second time that day. “But if I get ambushed, it’s on you.”

“Don't worry, Y/N’s gonna be there.”

You laughed along with JJ as he said, “Yeah, that makes me feel so much better.”

John B sighed as both the boys turned towards you. “Just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

But JJ wasn’t listening to the conversation going on around him anymore. His eyes were traveling up your body in that dress. He had never seen you look so good. The heels made your legs look impossibly long, and the short skirt of your dress was revealing just how long they looked. Your chest looked amazing, and JJ tried to tear his eyes away but he just couldn’t. The color of the fabric complimented you in every single way possible: your eyes, your hair, your skin. 

However, he thought you looked weird too. It wasn’t at all like you to wear heels and dresses. JJ knew you really couldn’t afford that. What you could afford was thrifted t-shirts, old cut-off jean shorts, and beaten-up vans. 

Clearing his throat, JJ pulled the waiter’s jacket on as you and John B kept on speaking about the plan. JJ buttoned up the jacket before shoving his hands down his pants and tried to arrange the problem that arose when he had looked over at you. 

Trying to calm himself down he thought of his dad. The problem was solved. For now. 

“Okay. Sneak in. Letter to Sarah. Get the rest of the Pogues. Sneak out,” you repeated one last time. “Ready, JJ?”

The blond turned towards you and you felt your throat constrict. Hot damn. JJ looked amazing, and you were surprised you had never really noticed how beautiful he really was. His blond hair fell onto his face, and his clothes clung onto his muscles. Sure, you knew his muscles were amazing and you had witnessed countless girls drooling over them, but you had never imagined what it would feel like to run your fingers - or your tongue - down them.

Shaking your head you looked up to both of the boys who had confused expressions plastered on. 

“You good?” you heard John B ask you. 

You nodded your head and cleared your throat. “Yeah, yeah.”

JJ stepped towards you and smirked. “I know you think I look good,” he said in his usual flirty tone. “But now is not the time. Let’s go!”

With that, you walked towards the country club. 

JJ grabbed a tray that was discarded on a table halfway down the beach and placed two glasses on top of it. You continued walking. 

At the stairs of the country club, you encountered a guard. As confident as you could, you strutted past him while JJ complained to him about finding glasses on the sand. The guard gave you both a suspicious look, before turning away. You sighed in relief.

As you both went further into the party you grabbed onto JJ’s arm and pushed him aside. You grabbed the tray out of his hands and sloppily left it on top of an empty table. 

“C’mon.”

You began searching for the Pogues together, trying to find them to tell them the news John B had told you earlier on the marsh. 

“Where are they?” JJ whispered into your ear. This sent a shiver down your spine. Just as you noticed Kie standing a couple feet away, you felt JJ being tugged back and out of your arms. A noise of protest left your mouth before you turned around and saw Pope dragging him away. 

“Pope!” you called out, walking towards him. You stumbled a little on your heels, but when you reached them you saw both of them hugging. 

“Woah, unexpected PDA there, Dr. Spock.”

You stiffled out a laugh as you rubbed Pope’s back up and down. JJ pushed away from the dark-skinned boy and gave him a kiss on his cheek before saying, “But, uh... hey, love you, too, man.”

This made you laugh out loud as Pope finally tuned to you and also gave you a hug. Then he turned towards JJ again and began speaking in a hurried tone.

“Dude, I’m sick over all this shit, man.”

“You’re sick? You don’t seem sick.” JJ asked confused. He pressed a hand up to Pope’s forehead, who simply swatted it away. You scoffed yet again because of the blond.

“No, JJ, he’s sick on the inside, you idiot.”

“Right. Well, I already knew that.”

Pope continued staring at JJ, before quickly turning to you, and then back to the other Pogue. He was going to ask about JJ’s injuries.

“Did Shoupe do that?”

“Oh, this?” JJ pointed at his cheek. “No. This is- It’s my dad. You know? Has that right jab. Can really snap it off at times.”

“That looks like more than a jab, JJ,” you said. Pope nodded in agreement. 

Shaking his head, JJ simply said, “It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.”

No matter how nonchalantly JJ tried to seem, both you and Pope could see the pain in his eyes. However, you knew that bringing it up would cause more troubles than solve any, so you quickly moved on to the next subject. Pope did not seem to get the memo though. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you take the fall for all this. It’s my fault!”

You sighed, as JJ tried to assure him it was most definitely not his fault. 

“Pope...” you whispered softly. They kept on talking, ignoring you until JJ finally reached his hands up to Pope’s face. “Shut up, Pope. Shut up.”

You stared at them both, not knowing what JJ was going to say to calm Pope down. 

“For once in your life, trust someone else. John B, Y/N, and I have got it all sorted out.”

With this JJ removed his hands from Pope’s face, and the dark skinned boy turned to look at you with a questioning gaze. He turned back to JJ, who only said, “We’re gonna be filthy rich, man.”

Pope, still not understanding, kept his eyes on JJ. 

You leaned forward and whispered, “We’re back in the G-game, baby.”

Pope opened his eyes as wide as he could, showing exactly how shocked he was. “G-game? I thought we lost the gold game.”

“Yeah, well, we’re in overtime now.”

With that, JJ glanced down at you and quickly moved his eyes to the dance floor. You turned towards the dancing bodies and noticed Sarah Cameron dancing there with her friend, Scarlett. 

“We’ll be right back,” the blond said before grabbing your arm and walking in the direction of the Kook princess. You felt tingles on your forearm. Right where JJ’s hand was placed. 

Pope made confused noises as you turned away, and giving him one final look, you said, “We’ll explain - We’ll explain later.”

Turning towards the task at hand, you tried to slip in through the dancing people as JJ took a more direct approach. 

“Are you kidding me?” you muttered. How was that not supposed to gain attention?

You kept dancing as you watched JJ flounce around Sarah, while she just had a confused look in her eyes. She probably thought, What is JJ doing here at a Kook party? It was well known that JJ was the ultimate hater of Kooks. 

As you got closer to them, JJ caught your eye. You heard him talk to Sarah, and then you were finally right next to him. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Sarah greeted before turning around and opening the letter. You tugged JJ’s arm to leave, as the first part of the plan was already completed. Your thoughts of retrieving the other Pogues and escaping the party unscathed escaped your mind when Rafe and Kelce came into view. You groaned out loud. 

Rafe ignored you and grabbed onto JJ’s shoulders. “I’m wondering if you could get me a mai tai, my friend.”

You were fuming. You hated how Rafe always approached JJ with at least one more person and how he was always looking for a fight. 

“Leave us alone, Rafe.”

The blond Kook turned towards you, eyes raking up your figure. Even though he hated to admit it, Rafe had the hots for you and for Kie. The reason he absolutely hated that was because you were both Pogues. 

“You look pretty hot tonight, Y/N. Mind coming home with me so that I can show you how much better the Kook life is?”

Your face burned red with anger and you noticed JJ lurch forward towards Rafe, but Kelce pushed him back. Before your best friend could walk up to Rafe again, you tugged his forearm harshly and whispered, “Not worth it. Remember the plan.”

Trying to change the subject JJ began to speak about having to get drinks for other guests at the party, as he began backing away from the two Kooks. As you were still holding on to his forearm, he dragged you with him. 

Before turning to walk away from the situation, JJ says, “Help yourselves to the hors d’oeuvres.”

However, Rafe turned around and called on more of his goons. “Hey, guys, JJ is gonna serve us some hors d’oeuvers.”

You gasped as at least three more Kooks - that looked massive, by the way - joined Rafe and Kelce. 

“C’mon, Rafe, let’s not do this,” you tried to reason with him, but it went in one ear and out the other. 

“Shit,” you heard JJ mumble underneath his breath. He looked around at anything that could help him and you get out of this situation. Not seeing anything that could help he moved to grab your hand and said, “You know, we’ll be right back.”

With that he turned around and sprinted into the country club, dragging you along with him. 

A/N: I was trying to wrap up the story but I got carried away so... yeah there’s probably going to be a part 3. Oops. 

PART 3

[reaperintheroses]

Like those foreign stars (JJ x reader)

Requested: Yes by @maybebanks Word Count: 4319 Warnings: underaged drinking, angst, fluff. UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES (it gets stopped before it goes anywhere though), Mentions of blow jobs, JJ makes the reader uncomfortable on accident, swearing. Request: y/n is a part of the kook gang and at the cut beach party y/n wanders alone and rafe is touching her thigh and feeling her up, she is so scared and he asks for a bj and she says no . Later on JJ is high and mimics a bj w his blunt and jokes asking you or Kie for a bj. You get emotional and storm off but don’t let them see. They’re like “what’s the matter w her?” Then jj comes out her her and finds out what happened. Y/n is reluctant to tell tho but since jj likes her he is really sweet ig A/N: Hello, I am once again back with my first request!!! My requests are open so just send in whatever’s on your mind. This was actually betaed by my fiance because he’s a professor so he’s good at checking my writing. He just kind of skimmed over it though so if you notice anything let me know so I can fix it. The ending is kinda shitty tbh I’m not super proud of it. Gimme feedback though I love hearing from you all! Just something to say

The air smelled like alcohol, the beach, and bad decisions. Parties were never really your scene. Walking around you surveyed the crowd. You had the normal kooks and pouges on their opposite sides trying to act as if the other wasn’t there. The random tourists scattered all around, trying to make their evening worthwhile. Music was coming from somewhere on the beach but could barely be heard with the tide rushing in and out every few seconds. You saw the back of toppers head and sighed. If it wasn’t for his constant pushing you wouldn’t be here tonight and instead would probably be back home watching shitty T.V. Seeing the rest of his friends hanging around him laughing at the dumbest jokes you turned around trying to find a keg. Trying to focus surrounded by the smell of weed and the -exaggerated loud laughs of the flirting tourists made everything five times harder. Part of you kept thinking that it wasn’t too late to turn back. You could walk back to your car and drive off, make your own fun for the evening. Deciding that was probably the best course of action you started to make your way back to your car when you heard someone call out for you. “Hey Y/N wondering when you were going to show up.” You heard sand being kicked up around the beach and turned around. Topper was jogging towards you. Groaning internally you slapped on a fake smile and walked to him. “Hey Top, how’s it going,” you asked not really wanting an actual answer. He started talking about what annoying things the pogues were doing tonight and as soon as the words left his mouth you stopped listening. Glancing longingly over to the keg you wished you could escape Topper’s grip and go over to where your friends were handing out drinks. Topper follows your gaze and steers you over to where all of the kooks were sitting. “We just grabbed a bunch of random cups and brought them back over here so we didn’t have to keep on going back there for refills.” He explained mistaking your gaze. Sitting down on a large tree branch, you accepted a solo cup from a random girl. Sniffing before you took a sip you grimaced at the slightly bitter taste that you still weren’t used to yet. Glancing down at your feet you saw that Kelce had come to sit right next to you. Still wishing you were at home, you listened to all of the conversations around you while nursing the beer you had. Reaching down you slipped off your shoes and let the sand seep beneath your toes. Holding your cup up to your mouth you pulled back when nothing came out. Looking down you saw that you had drunk everything. Sighing, you handed the cup to the person next to you and stood up. Stretching you heard some of your joints crack. Glancing around you saw that no one paid you any attention. Shrugging you walked out of the cluster of kooks and made your way down to the beach.

Feeling the water paw at your toes, you looked at the sky and started trying to find constellations. Stuffing your hands into your pocket you turned around to see how far you had gotten from the party. Moving back around you looked out to the ocean, taking peace in the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. Looking up the beach you saw another large piece of driftwood. Walking up you took a seat and went back to looking at the ocean. Hearing someone take a seat next to you, you looked up. “Pretty isn’t it,” the sight of Rafe Cameron greeted you. You smiled slightly to not seem rude. “Yeah it is, can’t believe we get to live here.” You replied. Really you just wanted him to leave you alone. Moving your gaze back to the ocean, you hoped he would get the hint. Either be quiet and leave you alone or go back to the party. Apparently Rafe thought it was fine to make his own option and chose C. Bug you into having a conversation with him. He cleared his throat. “So have you done anything interesting this week,” he asked, keeping his eyes trained on you while you kept yours trained on the ocean. Thinking that if you just didn’t reply that maybe he would leave you alone. The only reason you even gave him the time of day was that the Camerons and the Y/L/Ns had been friends ever since you could remember. Your dad worked closely with Ward and you had been neighbors since you were ten. Their daughter Sarah was your age so you had always done things together, regardless of whether you liked each other or not. You used to hate her guts but the more time you were forced to spend together, the more you realized she wasn’t horrible and you didn’t mind hanging out with her every now and again. Though it was because of Sarah that you met your best friend though. You would always owe her for that. Kie was your partner in crime and she’s been there for you through it all. Kie had introduced you to the pogues aka your real friends. The people who at the end of the day you could go to who would get high with you and talk about nothing and everything. Then there was Rafe. Rafe always creeped you out. He always steered clear of you but from what you had heard from other people you needed to watch yourself around him.  

He nudged your shoulder with his. “Y/N did you hear what I said?” He asked. “Hm, oh no sorry.” You lied hoping you would convince him to leave you alone. Apparently not. He kept on chatting about himself and the pogues and how he wished this and that about them. You added in the occasional acknowledgment that you were listening. At this point, you just wanted to go home. In the middle of his sentence, your phone went off. It was probably Kie calling you and asking if you wanted to come back with the pogues at the end. You picked up your phone and unlocked it. You were in the middle of typing out a response when he snapped in front of your face. “Hey, I’m talking to you,” he said anger lacing his tone. “I’m sorry but this is important.” You lied hoping it would seem like you needed to go home. He moved his hand to your thigh. Putting your phone down you looked from his hand up to him with a face of confusion. He moved closer. He smelled like weed. He moved his other hand to your back. “Look I’m sorry I yelled,” so it was true what everyone said about him zero to one hundred in a second and then back again. He started moving his hand up your thigh slowly as if he was trying to seem discreet. Looking back out to the ocean you tried to ignore it. His fingers skimmed the hem of your shorts while his other hand fluttered around the back of your neck. He got really close to your ear. “How about we both get out of here and head back to my place,” Now that you could hear him clearly you could tell that he had been drinking by his tone. “I need to stay here, I’m my friend’s ride home.” You once again lied. Maybe that would convince him to let you leave. He looked like he was contemplating something. Your phone went off again. “That’s probably her I should go,” you continued to drop hints that you weren’t interested. “Oh come on, stay for a while.” He was starting to scare you. One of his hands reached your neck. Trying to calm down you knew that this could go south at the flip of a dime. Trying to stay calm you started to think of things you could say to getaway. You started to open your mouth when he cut you off before you could even say anything. “How about you put that mouth to better use yeah,” he asked. That’s when you gathered your senses and your fight or flight kicked in. Your phone went off for the second time. Thanking any god who was listening you stood up and wrestled your arm out of his grip. Praying you wouldn’t start crying you looked at him. “I really need to get going.” You left no room for argument. Turning on your heels you speed walked away so he couldn’t see how scared you were. So that he wouldn’t see the lone tear escape your eye and fall to the sand below.

Seeing the top of the branches that make up the boneyard you let out a sigh of relief. Picking up your pace you almost jogged out into the clearing of the beach and saw that the number of people there had been cut in half. You looked around for a familiar face, for anyone that would make you feel safer in case Rafe came back in a few minutes. Seeing the top of the brunette bun you let out a large sigh of relief. Grabbing your earlier discarded shoes you made your way over to your friends and prepared yourself for your real evening to begin.Wiping off your face you tried to look presentable. Coming up behind Kie you rested your arm across her shoulders. “Good evening, comrades!” You greeted them. Kie turned to look at you and smiled. “Lady Y/N, how are you on this fine evening,” she responded in a faux British accent. You smiled back at her in response. If it were just the two of you, you would tell her everything. Swallowing back another round of tears you looked over at Sarah and smiled. You were glad that she shared few similarities with her brother otherwise you might have lost it then and there. You tried to ignore the lingering feeling of his hands on your thigh and neck. Kie nudged your ankle with her foot. “We were going to head back to the Chateau pretty soon, want to come?” She asked you with a look in her eyes that made you feel slightly better. Seeing JJ look over at you like a hopeful puppy made you cave quickly. Your crush on the boy grew stronger every time you saw him. You didn’t want to ruin the great relationship you already had with him but every time you were close to him this feeling in your chest grew like a weed. Every time you tried to shove your feelings down they would come back tenfold the next time you saw him. Giving a yes you gave a small smile to the cheers that rose around you. Helping them load up the van you made sure that you had your keys so that your car would still be here when you came back to grab it in the morning. 

Jumping into the van you snagged a seat in the back between Kie and Pope laying your head on Kie’s shoulder. Shifting your gaze to the front you saw John B. and Sarah holding hands in between the seats. Looking out the front window you saw the clear night sky filled with stars. It brought back the sky you saw from the ocean though and you quickly turned your head away. Playing with Kie’s hair you tried to shake the feeling of his hand still moving around like mud on your body. JJ gently kicked your shin with the tip of his foot. You looked up at him. He talked with his hands so as to not disturb the comfortable silence that had fallen around everyone. “Are you okay?” He asked you silently, moving his fingers slowly so you could understand. You were so tired of all the lying but you didn’t want to worry him. Giving him a sleepy smile and a thumbs up you tried to close your eyes but all you saw were flashes of Rafe and the sound of the waves, which would normally sound pretty but at the moment made you feel like you were drowning. Opening your eyes quickly you tried to focus all your thoughts into braiding Kie’s hair for the last few minutes of the car ride. 

When you made it back to the Chateau it seemed as if everyone had awoken from the sleepy state that wrapped around you all like a blanket in the car. JJ was attempting to keep Pope’s attention, and failing, on how to roll a proper backwood. Pope was listening to Kie tell a story from her freshman year with Sarah chiming in every now and again. John B. was off in the kitchen getting everyone drinks and you, well you were still trying not to flinch every time you got a flash of Rafe or heard his breathy voice in your ear. Realizing that just ignoring them wouldn’t work you got up to help John B. carry everyone’s drinks back. Weaving in between your sitting friends you walked over to the kitchen and hopped up on the counter. He was rustling around in the fridge. “So why were you gone for so long tonight?” He asked, starting off strong. “I just went for a walk on the beach to clear my head, why?” You responded playing dumb and hoping that they didn’t see Rafe trail after you. “Sarah was worried about you,” That grabbed your full attention. “Why would she be worried?” You were still really hoping that she hadn’t seen Rafe trail after you. The last thing you needed was for everything to become a bigger deal than it needed to be. Sure he was being a creep but that didn’t surprise you, after everything everyone said about him. You also put a stop to it before it went anywhere. That’s what was important. He didn’t get what he wanted. That realization filled you with pride for a split second. Then all the worry came back to you. Shoving it aside you looked back to where John B. was standing up from the ground with three beers in hand. You grabbed the other two on the counter and snatched up two bottle openers before you started to walk back over to the group. John B. handed Sarah a beer before he looked over at you with a look that said what you needed to hear. ‘We’re here if you need us.’ Tossing him an opener you gave him a soft smile which you hopped convey your thanks. Sitting back over by JJ you put his beer on the ground next to you before taking the opener to the top of your beer and then his. Handing him the drink you took a quick swig of yours before nodding in recognition to his mumbled thanks. Holding the bottle by the neck you turned your torso so you could watch him try to finish rolling this blunt. You got lost in memory while watching him. Your thoughts bounced from the first time you met, to when he complimented your swimsuit that one time, to when he gave you your first hit of weed. The laughs from the rest of the group brought your attention back to Kie’s story that you were only half paying attention to. Turning back over to them you smiled at her. She gave a small wave of her eyebrows. You drew your mouth into a straight line and gave her a subtle glare. She knew all about your crush and made fun of you for it all the time. She had guessed exactly what you were thinking about just a second ago. Taking another swig of your beer you pulled out your phone and texted your mom telling her that you had not, in fact, been kidnapped and that you were with Kie and safe. Finishing off the text with an ‘I love you and I’ll be home in the morning’ you pocketed your phone and looked back up at Kie’s smirking face. Pretending to scratch your eye with your middle finger, in hopes of being subtle you glanced over at John B. and Sarah who were cuddling and nursing their own beers. Giving Sarah a small wave you looked back when you heard a small whoop. Cocking your head in curiosity you saw JJ do a small victory shimmy as he held up the finished backwood. Giving a silent scoff you raised your eyebrows at him. He now had everyone’s attention as he showcased his finished blunt. Kie gave him a small thumbs-up as a small display of pride while Pope started a lecture on the effects of smoking. Sarah and John B. laughed at him while Pope realizing his words were falling on deaf ears sat back to watch. JJ started to bob his head up and down on the blunt and started over dramatically moaning like he was in a bad porno. Everyone else laughed him off but you felt like ice was shooting down your spine. You sat up straighter and forced a half-smile that pained you. Once he stopped his gross display you hopped the night would be able to go back to normal and you could just ignore what had happened along with the rest of the evening. Apparently not. Guess all your luck had been used on the gang not seeing Rafe trail behind you. JJ looked up and put on a weird face that when you would look back to the night later on you could only describe as a mix of being drunk, high, and teasing. “My good lady Kie,” you could already tell where this was going, “could I interest you in an early morning bj in exchange for a few puffs of this glorious backwood.” Inside you felt like crying or screaming. On the outside, you just looked pained. Kie just kicked his leg a little bit harder than usual and laughed at him “You are absolutely disgusting.” She giggled. Pope shook his head while Sarah had a look of laughter and disgust on her face. John B., who was probably used to it at this point, laughed along with Kie. You hopped he would leave it at that. Prayed even. JJ, ever the clown, couldn’t drop it though, could he? Turning to you, he smiled. You looked as if you were preparing for a punch. Kie looked at you with question on her face. “My dear Y/N,” you felt close to crying, “Kie has denied my proposed arrangement so I come to you with the same idea.” You swallowed. You could smell the weed and other drugs on him. Could hear his slurred words and feel his hand on your neck squeezing just tight enough to scare you. His hand dragging across your thigh like sandpaper. You didn’t want to show fear. You didn’t want to show him how he reduced you into a scared, whimpering mess. It felt with just a simple phrase you could be transported back to that moment. Opening your eyes suddenly you met with JJ’s teasing gaze. Kie looked like a mix between confused and amused. Everyone else looked interested. Why couldn’t you just respond how you normally did, telling him to fuck off and give him a tipsy laugh. You stood up swiftly and bent back down to grab your beer bottle. You started to turn away from the group when JJ grabbed you by the wrist. “Hey, it was just a joke,” You didn’t want to bring down their mood by moping and you just needed to be alone. You wrestled your arm out of his grip and he gave it up with little fight. “I-” you cleared your throat so you wouldn’t sound on the brink of tears. “I need to get some air.” Walking around Pope and stepping over John B’s leg you reached the screen door. Opening it, you relished in the feeling of the cool salty air on your face. Stepping down the steps to lead you to the hammock and the chairs you had set up for when it was too hot for you all to be inside. Sitting down you grasped your beer bottle in your hands and let all your emotions out. You felt the tears slip down your face for the second time tonight. You tried to channel all your fear, anger, and sadness into your tears. You were scared of Rafe. After tonight how could you not be? You realized though that you had always been scared of him. You just had a reason now. Trying to calm your breathing you realized that tonight you got lucky. Tonight could have been so much worse. You wanted to feel lucky but you couldn’t find it in your heart. Starring off at the stars you took a long drink.

Hearing the screen door slam shut you quickly reached up and harshly wiped your face so that any remnants of your tears wouldn’t be seen. You heard the person bound down the stairs and then walk quickly across the grass. They sat down in the chair next to you. Turning away from the sky you looked over at him. He looked sorry. “It was just a joke, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” The words he said sounded rehearsed like he had said them to himself over and over. You gave him a small smile. “Not your fault, it’s just been a long night.” You lifted the beer bottle back up to your lips. He cleared his throat. “Hey Y/N, why did Rafe follow you when you walked up the beach?” He asked you protectiveness oozing from his voice. So guess you had less luck than you thought. Sighing, you tried to gather your thoughts. “Did he do anything?” This was not going to end well and you could feel it. No matter what you said he was going to get angry. “Y/N I swear to God if he did anything I will beat him seven ways to Sunday.” The threat wasn’t what worried you, it was the fact that it wasn’t an empty promise. Thinking for a moment on how to best respond you decided that lying wasn’t worth it anymore. The moment you opened your mouth everything came tumbling out like a waterfall. You told him about the senses you experienced. From the smell of cheap alcohol and drugs to the feeling of his hand on your thigh and on the back of your neck. You talked about how his anger went from one to one hundred and back again in seconds. You talked about how you should have listened to everyone’s warnings and how he looked as if he wouldn’t take no for an answer. You talked about everything and nothing. He just sat there and listened. 

In the end, you took a sharp inhale. After a few minutes, you turned and looked at him. For once he was quiet. Then he stood up. You stared at him with eyes like a deer in headlights. He gestured for you to stand up as well. Still confused you abandoned your drink on the chair and stood up to face him. He pulled you into a crushing hug. Getting thrown off balance you grabbed onto his shoulders to steady yourself. Letting your hands slide down his back you pressed your face into his bicep. He rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Y/N you didn’t deserve any of that.” His voice is quiet and out of character. Drawing back he placed his hands on your shoulders. The butterflies in your stomach became a storm. He turns away. “Hey JJ I actually have something else I want to tell you,” You wished you could grab the words back after they left your mouth. He paused in what he was doing indicating for you to continue. He wasn’t looking at you which helped. “JJ I like you,” you paused and contemplated everything that was about to leave your mouth, “as way more than a friend.” You tried not to feel like you were being burned alive with embarrassment as you continued. “I have for a little while now and I get this feeling every time I’m around you.” He stood up straight. “I need to know what you feel about any of this,” you were so scared more scared then you had been all night. “If you don’t feel the same then we can just pretend this never happened and just go back to normal.” You finished. He turned around. He was silently laughing at you. You felt any hope you had deflate. Your face fell. He stopped laughing. Giving you a soft smile he replied to your confession. “Thank God you said something or otherwise I never would have acted on them.” You looked up and cocked your head to the side. “I like you too Y/N, more than I can describe.” Your face split into a grin. You launched yourself into his arms and gave a tiny squeal of happiness. Breaking apart once again you saw that his face had a large grin on it as well. Unable to shove back down your smile you sat back down. Putting your beer on the grass you reached across the distance between you and took his hand in yours. Letting your joint hands fall in between you. Turning back out to glance at the sky you marveled at the twinkling stars. For the first time all night, you closed your eyes and were greeted by darkness, not Rafe’s face. You both stayed out there for hours, your hands interlocked just soaking in each other’s presence. 

@simonsbluee

[everybodyscupoftea]

sober up

jj maybank x reader

word count: 2151

warnings: mentions of substance use (vyvanse, alcohol, weed); mention of anxiety; nothing too angsty though i promise

synopsis: based on the song sober up by ajr

When Sarah and John B. disappeared, it rocked the Outer Banks, and no one could think or talk about anything else. Reporters from the mainland flooded both the Cut and Figure Eight looking to talk to the people closest to the ‘Missing Star-Crossed Lovers’ as they’d been dubbed. Neither the Pogues nor the Kooks were safe.

Everyone coped as best they could. You couldn’t speak for the Pogues, you hadn’t run with them for years, but the coping could best be described as destructive spiraling. Rafe, who was arguably off the rails already, went further; Topper retreated into a shell you weren’t sure if he could ever leave; Wheezie, once outgoing and loud, became the quietest person in every room; and you, you just had to watch, stuck in a rut of your own.

Basically, the disappearance stopped the world as everyone knew it, and you weren’t sure it could ever right itself.

Hello hello; I’m not where I’m supposed to be; I hope that you’re missing me; ‘cause it makes me feel young

Sometimes it got too much. Being on Figure Eight, at school, where memories of your friendship with Sarah were especially strong. You usually liked the feeling Vyvanse gave you. The intense focus you could pour into other things to forget about The Disappearance, at least for a few hours. But sometimes, it backfired, and you were hyper focused on it.

In those moments you found yourself wandering back to the Cut, back to your elementary school, to sit on the swings. You liked the back and forth feeling and staring up at the sky. It made you dizzy, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Usually you were alone there. Not this time. This time JJ Maybank beat you there.

“Long time no see,” he said to you, the smile he gave not anywhere close to real.

You didn’t really know what to say. The friendship ended years ago when your mom married up and you both moved off the Cut. It wasn’t explosive, it wasn’t a brawl, it just fizzled. JJ Maybank, your childhood crush, and John B, your biggest defender. You looked for them sometimes, but they were never looking back.

“I like to think out here.”

JJ laughed, “That makes two of us.”

You wanted to ask how he was, but you knew. It really wasn’t worth asking. No need to cheaply fill the silence. Normally you were filled with crushing sadness on the swings. Mourning relationships lost and waiting for the drugs to finally wear off. This time you felt refreshed. Sitting in silence with this now stranger, you felt young again. You forgot how JJ made you feel.

Hello hello; last time that I saw your face, was recess in second grade; and it made me feel young

To your surprise, JJ broke the silence first.

“How’s your mom?”

They had always been close, a surrogate mother to him when his Dad threw him out.

“She’s good.”

“Still up to all that hippie shit?” he asked with a quiet laugh.

“Of course, the day my mother stops harping on the environment is the day we bury her.”

You fell into silence again, unsure if you should ask about his dad. It was nice to be here with him, and you didn’t want to push him away.

Before you could make a decision on asking, JJ pushed off with his feet and started swinging higher, effectively ending the conversation. For lack of anything better to do, you followed suit.

It was bittersweet, one of the last things you did with him before moving was swing at recess. You knew about the engagement and what it meant, but your friends didn’t, and you didn’t know how to tell them.

You remember JJ was always braver than you, swinging higher, jumping from the swing more recklessly, and telling the truth as soon as he found it out. You were always more scared.

Maybe this was the chance to finally be brave.

“JJ, about second grade and the engagement- “ but he cut you off before you could finish.

“It’s in the past. I was mad, but I understand now.”

“Right.”

Goodbye, goodbye; I said to my bestest buds; we said that we’d keep in touch; and we did our best

You had every intention of staying friends with the boys when you transferred schools, but your new dad had other ideas. He never had kids of his own, you were his new project. Your free time became his time where he taught you the ins and outs of the upper class.

He had plenty of connections, plenty of new friends for you to play with. Your mom felt bad, she didn’t realize moving you would also separate you from your closest friends the way it did. She hated seeing you sad, but what could she do?

JJ and John B visited you a lot in the early days. Then, one day, your new dad started answering the door instead of you, and he always said no. They finally caught you one afternoon, but you already had plans with the Cameron’s, and you couldn’t play with the boys. That was the final straw.

There was no fight, just a general, melancholy consensus that this would be the new normal. Rafe and Sarah instead of JJ and John B.

All my new friends, we smile at party time; but soon we forget to smile at anything else

Growing up with the Kooks was hard. Sure, you didn’t want for much, money wasn’t an issue and you had all the educational resources you could possibly need, but the pressure to even keep up, not even to stand out, was immense.

Your stepdad had high hopes, your mom wanted you to fit in and be happy. There was no best of both worlds unfortunately. No one quite understood like the Cameron siblings, your closest friends. Rafe understood the pressure to succeed from your dad, and Sarah understood the pressure to fit in from your mom.

The hangouts you used to have were fun. Full of laughter and actual joy during childhood. Games and picnics, afternoons at the country club pool and tea parties. Finally, you’d found your people after a lonely few years without JJ and John B. You depended on each other as you grew up and moved into high school.

Sarah kept you sane, she invited you to parties, hung out when you were especially struggling, and kept your mom out of your personal life. You owed a lot to her. Rafe kept you medicated. He sold you cheap Vyvanse to help you focus on schoolwork to appease your dad.

It was a delicate balance, the medication and the partying, but you made it work. The Vyvanse made you anxious but the alcohol helped you relax. Soon enough, you were more anxious than relaxed, and you could feel the smiles coming fewer and far between. Childhood was over.

And then Sarah disappeared, taking with her the last of your smiles.

Won’t you help me sober up; growing up, it made me numb; and I want to feel something again

You couldn’t stop it, sitting on the swings with JJ, the sob that broke out of your chest. It was like poking a hole in a balloon. From nothing to everything leaving at once.

“Fuck,” JJ muttered, using his feet to stop his swing as you sobbed, still gently rocking.

“I don’t want to live like this anymore,” you told the ground, refusing to look at him, even as he squatted in front of you.

“Like what?” he asked gently, hand tracing slow circles on your knee.

You shuddered a few times, fighting the anxious wave in your chest fueled by the medicine, “Numb,” you finally responded.

The pitying look on his face broke the numbness. You felt bitter, you didn’t need his pity. It was as if he could sense a wave of anger rising in you, and he backed up. JJ said with a small sigh, “I sure as hell don’t know what you’ve been through, but I have an idea of what you’re going through, so maybe, we can get through this together.”

His words put out the flames and you slouched forward, biting your lip, “You think?”

JJ didn’t answer for a few minutes, and when he did, it wasn’t to your question, “I’m hungry, want to grab some dinner at The Wreck?”

And suddenly, food sounded like the best idea in the world. You stood up and held your hand out for him to take, “My treat.”

Won’t you help me sober up; all the big kids, they got drunk; and I want to feel something again; won’t you help me feel something again

Kiara wasn’t at The Wreck when you and JJ ate. He said there was a party at the Boneyard, she and Pope were there, and invited you. While you weren’t particularly in a partying mood, you didn’t really want to be alone, so you went. It was…weird.

Sarah was your party crutch, the someone around who would always talk to you. The idea of going out and not having that made you feel a little alienated and wary. To your surprise, JJ stayed with you.

Neither of you made any moves to drink. JJ had his dab pen, and you had your juul, but otherwise you sat on a log together in silence. It wasn’t awkward, but it was a little heavy. You watched people dance around the bonfire, totally wasted and carefree, while taking occasional hits from your juul. It didn’t draw you in the same way it used to.

You couldn’t speak for JJ, he may have been itching to join the party, but he didn’t. Together you sat as the sun set and the wind picked up. He eventually handed over his sweatshirt when you started shivering and scooted closer for body heat.

The two of you sat and watched for at least three hours, not really moving or talking. You felt hyper aware of how close his thigh was to pressing against yours and how close your pinkies were from linking. It was something new to focus on. Something that broke through the water you felt had been clogging your brain for the past month.

You and JJ spent weeks together, slowly healing. There would always be a scar, empty air after quoting the first half of an inside joke or a missing t-shirt you’ll never find because you’d lent it out, but you were getting better. Part of that process was finding something new to hyper focus on. One night, both high, JJ revealed that he liked to think in color, and why not try.

My favorite color is you; you’re vibrating out my frequency

JJ was blue, his eyes, the waves he loved to surf, and all of the pens he used were blue ink. He remembered you loved to surf together as kids, so he brought you out there one afternoon. It felt good to have common interests with someone again, constructive rather than destructive common interests at least. You’d been trying to replace ‘numb’ with ‘good’ and it was hard, but it was working

My favorite color is you; you keep me young and that’s how I wanna be

JJ was also red. The same hat he’d kept his entire life, all through childhood and into his teenage years. His dad gave it to him before the abuse started. JJ clutched onto it in his darkest moments. It reminded you of your childhood, he always wore the same damn hat. You liked being able to be there for him when he held the hat instead of wearing it.

My favorite color is you; you’re vibrating out my frequency

For JJ, you were green. Your school sweatshirt that you wore so much and your favorite headband. He liked the steadiness of knowing that you’d come back to him every day, pretty much unchanged. With the violent upheaval of their lives after the disappearance, the steadiness of green was good. Green wasn’t his favorite color, but it was growing on him.

My favorite color is you; you keep me young and that’s how I wanna be

You were also yellow, your smile like sunshine. He felt like he hadn’t seen it in so long. It’d been years since he’d really looked. He’d seen you around, of course, but he hadn’t taken notice. He hadn’t seen you shrink into yourself with hollowed out eyes. JJ cursed himself for missing it. But the smiles, they were coming back, back like they used to be when you were kids.

And I want to feel something again, I just want to feel something again.

Nothing beat the feeling of JJ kissing you. Maybe, despite the circumstances, despite the path it took you to get here. You could finally sober up.